unhappy

I didn’t think it was possible to feel any lower than I did. I literally feel like I’m drowning with all this stress and unhappiness in my life. I’ve been having a lot of body image problems lately…and everyday I look at myself in the mirror and cry. I’m at the heaviest weight I’ve ever been in my life. All of my clothes don’t fit right anymore and I’m just not comfortable in my own skin anymore. I’ve seriously been considering starting diet pills or something to help get the weight off fast. I can’t stand to look at myself…and it’s so sad to know that I think all of my problems would be fixed if I was skinny. I’m finally starting to see the toll depression has taken on me. I looked back to just two years ago and it’s shocking how much my life has changed. This time two years ago I was skinny and happy and I had goals and dreams for myself. I was gonna move to New York and become an actor and everything seemed possible. Now here I am two years later sad, overweight, my body has self harm scars, and now I have no hope for the future. I really want to try to get my life back on track but mental illness is a ***** and I can’t move forward no matter how hard I try.