When no one cares.

“God will never stop caring about you…”

True, because god would have to exist, to care about anyone, and since god doesn’t exist, he never care about anyone in the first place, and, therefore, cannot stop caring about anyone.

“what ever it is as I can’t define it to you”

It doesn’t exist, so it can’t have a definition.

“search in your heart and it will make sense.”

Not always true, and bad advice; the BRAIN is what makes sense of anything, not the heart. The literal heart only relentlessly supplies the body with blood, the figurative heart only deals with feelings and emotions, not “making sense of things.”

“Never blame this on something that you don’t understand.”

This is easily the most absurd, illogical, backwards thing i have read all day. The things we do not understand, are often the very things which most heavily impact us. And besides: wtf are you even talking about? Never blame “this?” This what? You make no sense; is that because you reason with your heart, instead of your brain?

The suicide dilemma isn’t what ruined your life. If your life wasn’t already ruined before the “dilemma,” you would not have become suicidal in the first place. Something else ruined your life. But you’re blaming the wrong factor, because you don’t understand, and you can’t understand if you expect your “heart” to make sense of everything, instead of using the incomparably more appropriate and capable tool at your disposal, called “brain.”

Someone who was never there to begin with, cannot abandon anyone. The only reason you feel “abandoned” is because you think someone was there, but you don’t see observable reality showing that to be true. It’s all in your head, and only because it was put there by other people who are unqualified to decide who learns what.

I always appreciate when someone finds value in the meanings of my words, and acknowledges the effort i expend in expressing them.

I also feel i understand what you meant by “that’s why i’m so fragile…”

It’s a hard, harsh, heavy experience to have to face, to adjust to the view of reality, from a previously fantastical base. I’ve certainly been there. It’s very unsettling to learn, and difficult to accept, that the world can be such a horrible place, and that it’s incredibly unlikely that any of those wishful fairytales will ever be shown to be true.

And further, it’s difficult to figure out something you can actually hope for, in this real world, without setting yourself up for disappointment, much like before.

I would have to say that learning to develop realistic expectations aligned with what is actually possible and feasible, can be considered an art form. What’s even more difficult, is adjusting everything in your life, to increase the degree to which your potential can be actualized. That is the hardcore, constant, day-in, day-out stuff. That is where discipline shines.