My mom and I are leaving my dad. In less than a month.
The thing is, it won’t be simple. I wished for things to get better blowing a candle the day of my birthday, Â as a Christmas miracle too. We won’t have much money to start this because despite of his alcoholism, Â my dad is especially good at making money. This sudden moving plan is poorly planed, Â but we are desperate. We are moving to a different town, have no real home there or stable job for my mom. Fortunately we have my grandparents, they will give us a place to stay while we get things started. However, my mom has to stay here for at least a month to set up the divorce thing, sell our house and pack the things. I will start school very soon, a new school in a new place where I know no one and live in a tiny room in my grandparents house with no real support because my grandparents aren’t very emotionally supportive to me. At least I will have a place to stay, but it’s scary. My mom won’t be there, I won’t be able to know if she’s okay all the time. I will start school, afraid about whether people will like me, my grades, and my mom. I hope I get accepted at this really nice school I liked (It’s a religious private school, I chose it because it reminds me of the school I’ve been going to for years) and I hope things get better and I don’t get anxiety and I hope that month won’t feel too long, that we sell the house soon and my mom finds a job. Please. If you’re religious, Â this is dumb but it’d be very nice if you prayed for me or something, Â I’m just so afraif, but I’m grateful because I deeply hope this is the beginning of something good. I know I can do this, but then the fear gets into my bones and makes me start to shake. For anyone who gives me any kind of support, Â thanks.
19 comments
well Im not going to get on you because you are a victim in this case.
I have to ask…..
Is it the alcoholism that is making your mom do this?
Why is your mom leaving him?
You can tell by name why I’m here. My wife abandoned me after being married 14 years. I tried to kill myself because of it. I can tell you, and I really hope I’m wrong, this will likely destroy your dad, especially if this is going to be a surprise to him.
Noone wins in a divorce, really.
I wish the best for you, you are the helpless victim here and have to be pulled along “for the ride”.
I dont think people realize just how much a divorce can and most often does destroys everyone involved.
You will have a struggle ahead, but again, I wish the best for you.
Yes, his alcoholism and many consequences it brought us are the reasons why we’re leaving. He probably knows we’re leaving though not seeing me ever again may be a bit of a surprise. I try not to be hateful but I do hope it destroys him
Has your mom tried to get him help???
Yes, we’ve been way too tolerant with him. He just decides he doesn’t need or want any help because rehab is useless
I think its a sad situation.
Part of me still doesn’t think she should leave, not unless he is hitting you/her/abusing you.
I mean, I was just abandoned, wife left me even though she had it good.
Did you ever think that change can sometimes be a good thing? You can literally remake yourself…be whomever you choose. I know that change is scary…but if you allow fear to control your Life and dampen your Light…you will end up destroying what could be a brand new BEGINNING. Yes it is sad to leave people, places and things behind…but nothing is forever. Talk to your mom…she is probably terrified as well. Maybe you can be a support system for each other as you move into tomorrow.
I am not religious persay…I am a Spiritualist or Gnostic…but you will definitely be in my prayers tonight. I’m gonna pray that God blesses your courage with meaning.
Love and Light
Ama
You are right about that. I believe unless something is truly wrong in a relationship to the point it deeply affects people something like marriage shouldn’t be so easy to destroy
I remember you and wondered what happened. It’s a difficult time but I think you and your mom will be settle after a few weeks. You have to look after each other. Don’t worry about your new school. I’ve got a number for a spellcaster who advertises on here and if you have any problems I’ll get him to put a curse on your teachers and kids in your class.
Thank you. I do feel really scared but I am aware and grateful that this is giving me a great opportunity to start things over and I’m looking forward to use this to make my life better. I am terrified but I want to use this as something positive. I’m glad that I don’t feel exactly sad about anything, I feel very happy, just scared
When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.
Viktor E. Frankl
“Circumstance doesn’t make the man; it reveals him to himself” – James Allen
I got that from Lucy4.
Very inspirational like the quote above. I prefer to rely on something a little more effective like voodoo. I’ve never heard of a depressed whichdoctor and people tend to leave them alone. When we learn this power, we’ll be unstoppable.
Okay I can resist no longer.
HEY DUKE !!
Love ya
Ama (nooki nooki doctor)
Hoodoo woman, don’t put that thing on me, no. Gah, I listened to this old Great Depression era blues song with those lyrics and now it won’t get out of my head. I think it’s a hoodoo curse.
I’ve missed you too. The sites missed something very special indeed.
I would say you are too kind…but I think you were referring to my bullshit drama. hahaha
Sorry for the hi jack OP. But Mister you sound good. What have you been doing? You seem so clear…and funny…funnier than ever. You been hangin’ around with a bad crowd?
No, I was referring to your compassion, understanding and intellect.
My circumstances haven’t changed and they might even be worse but I feel good. I look great.
Well thank you Duke,
Life is worse…you are better. And you always looked great…but good is something else eh? Sometimes giving up is the answer? who knew haha
Not gonna continue the hijack tho…feeling a wee bit weird about it. Maybe I’ll catch you later? who knows
Lots of Love
Ama
Of course. I can understand how pennyroyaltea feels and it is scary at that age to go through this upheaval.
I’m not ready yet but I’ve sense next year I’ll go a long way. Last chance saloon.
With all respect for your situation Wifeisgone, I don’t think it’s wise to discuss these things with as you clearly stated, the victim. I think it might be more preferable to have this conversation with the poster’s mother? And as you state that someone should not leave their husband until they are physically abused seems just a bit too much for my understanding. If love is gone, there is no reason to stay, this does not mean I support divorce. Just not all divorces are a bad thing. It all depends if there is communication between two people. Is it better to live a lie? Tell your husband you love him while you don’t. Not in my opinion. Of course, these decisions shouldn’t come easy and respect should be there always. But both ways. Seems to me, that when I read this post, that isn’t the case. My father left us, he was abusing alcohol too and my mother never left him. She stood by him, even after he would come home drunk, get aggressive towards me and my sister. Alcoholism can change a person into someone you hardly recognise. It can turn good people into the most evil. I for one have hated my father for it but I’ve dealt with it in time. I no longer blame anyone. Things happen and human beings stay human. Only when he would have committed unspeakable things could I possibly hate him for it and even then I probably wouldn’t. But stating that a wife or husband should only leave when they are abused, well that, I don’t understand how you could possibly come to such a conclusion. You must have been hurt so badly to think that. When a relationship ends, it’s not a crime. Maybe the way you handle things. But not the ending itself. Just my opinion. I haven’t read up on your story but I’m new here so I’ll follow up a little bit while I still can. I hope you don’t find my reply hurtful, that was of course not the intention either. Just giving you my point of view