It’s crazy how the most simplest thing like a few extra pounds can make someone want to die. How a model in a picture can make a difference in someone’s life so dramatically that they want to be like them or die trying. It’s crazy how people will scar themselves because they hate their body so much they want to hurt it because it won’t go away. Becoming so obsessed where you can’t even go more than 5 minutes before you’re wondering about what your stomach looks like in this outfit, wondering if people are laughing at you. Hating yourself because you ate something fattening. Crying for hours, so long your eyes and throat hurts but you still can’t stop because you know when you wake up tomorrow you’re gonna look the same as right now…trying on clothes and having to hold back tears until you get home. Being terrified of dances because no dress fits you right.. God I hate dances.. Wanting to scream on the top of your lunges because crying quietly so no one hears gets old. Looking at skinny girls and thinking “wow that looks so fun”. I could go on and on about what happens because of hating my body but no one has time for all of that … But I just wanted to write. I like writing.
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4 comments
It’s only natural. Most people have something they don’t like about themselves. Whilst some have more to dislike than others you frequently see people concerned with their appearance post pictures of themselves and they’re half decent. They just want validation either way. Criticism to reinforce their belief or compliments to reasure themselves everything is ok. There’s nothing wrong with altering your appearance if it makes you happy, only when it’s for yourself and not others. Sometimes it’s not possible to do anything about the things we find unappealing.
Yes I know, it’s mostly for me I want to better myself, I know I’d be happier if I liked the way I looked and I’d die to be happy honestly
I know what you mean. I get on the scale every morning and cringe when I see that my weight has gone back up (again). It makes me sad and angry and frustrated. I end up “starving” myself on salads and greek yogurt and working harder in the gym to compensate. The struggle never seems to end for me while other people eat pizza every day and don’t gain an ounce. Seeing all the hot guys in TV cologne ads doesn’t help. But then I like to comfort myself with the knowledge that those fucktards probably don’t enjoy dining on nothing but dry rice cakes either. I’ll never be a hunky model, but I’ll enjoy a good super burrito occasionally and that’s okay with me.
I feel you, sucks feeling like you’re going backwards