Hi. About two years ago, I came on here looking for help. Last year was great, I got into sports, became athletic, and almost got a girl. Of course, I’m not good enough to actually deserve someone’s love, but that’s already been accepted by me. Actually, that’s the problem now. I love a girl so, SO much, but it’s simply not going to happen. Last year, apparently she fell in love with me, but I didn’t notice like the piece of shit that I am. this year, I have fell in love with her and it’s the strongest feeling i’ve ever had…but she doesn’t love me anymore. At school, she ignores me and treats me badly whenever she DOES notice me. Thankfully, we communicate great over text, but my mental state has been slowly deteriorating due to unrequited love. It hurts. So bad. I hate her and I love her and it’s just horrible I don’t want to be in love but she is the single most perfect girl I know. Yes, I understand that my problems are minuscule compared to other people’s on here, but this feels like an enormous deal. I love her, but she seems almost embarrassed to be around me. The worst part is, she used to tell me she loves me, but not anymore. She just brushes me off, although she knows I’m in love with her. She knows I’m depressed. But I feel as if she could care less, just like everyone else at school. There, nobody really cares about me. Sure, I can be entertaining, but that only makes people tolerate me. I hate this. I hate myself, for being so emotional and for caring too much. I hate school, for confirming the face that I am easily left out. But most of all I hate love, for having the ability to make me so happy, and seconds later bringing me back down and shattering my will on the rocks below. I apologise for bringing up my small issues, magnified by my weak mind and strong emotions. Thank you.
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4 comments
Tell her how you feel. Be brutally honest and she will either accept you or not. It’s the path of least pain on both sides. don’t fucking text it either. People don’t care about a message que. they care about people. do it in person.
Emotion is a rough prospect. Especially love….it can lead you to soaring heights and it can drop you in the pits of misery. It is unpredictable and can feel like it is always taking you back and forth on a spectrum of the great and the bad. But like John above has said, you can and should confront this love and this girl. Then afterwards maybe you can get a hold of your situation, or at the very least explore the better ways to handle the love you experience.
whatever is the condition , never hate yourself because people love those who love themselves. Even an ugly looking guy looks beautiful if he believes he is..
stick to your verdict, she will obviously appreciate it
Hey kid, we’ve all been there.
What some know and others don’t is this: the powerful emotions the would-be love affair generates is simply bringing out your own ambivalent feelings that you have about yourself. You love yourself; and you hate yourself. You are riding high; you are worthless. It is the theme from A Tale of Two Cities (“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”) played out as a romantic comedy.
The real help you need is in gaining some insight into life; your own personal life as you live it. This involves the peeling back the layers of beliefs and attitudes about yourself that are in the process of becoming solidified into what is known as personality. In other words, what you are willing to take a good look at on the inside of your mind will have a powerful influence on the direction your adult life will take.
You are not expected to do this alone, and really you can not do so. You must seek help to give you perspective on what you are going through. Family, friends, teachers are first available to most. Girl friend, boy friend is, of course, more intimate, but they also carry their own dynamic that requires a more mature outlook. This is why counselors, mentors, ministers, etc. are necessary.
Ask and receive. Seek and find.
Good luck.
G.W.