As the minutes continue to tick by it’s like  silent electric shocks inside me. I don’t jump or scream, but the pain is as real as my hand. I have to give my eyes credit for all the tears they’ve cranked out again and again. I’ve almost become convinced that there is no reason I am here but to suffer. We are born to be broken. And if I leave right now, no one would miss me. No one except my family even knows who I am. I’ll be on the college paper for a day and be forgotten the next. I always am forgotten fast. I don’t even care about being selfish anymore, not with this pain. No thought makes sense anymore. My life doesn’t make sense anymore. I want to take the fire escape and finally lose it all and never go back. Just leave me here in the corner until I have the guts to end it or I run out of blood to spill.
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2 comments
What us going on with you young kids? I am really getting confused. What brings you to the point of thinking with time and help and surrounding yourself with good people that things will not get better?! I really just want to hold you and love you…omg I must sound like a creep, I’m not I promise you. Please dont give up.
its not just kids. think of each person as ageless since suicide has no preference. it is what it is. I think had someone lent a hand up to so many of us – instead of crushing us out like a cigarette – we wouldnt have to be here/
I think you are nice to offer a hug.
Rabbit I feel the same about being here to suffer. Feels like a cosmic joke at my expense. I see this kid in me alone and afraid and abandoned and its like a universal joke. like the truman show
Im sorry rabbit. I am sending you a blanket of calm on the wind – use it to wrap yourself in the understanding that I wish you felt better. As a mom – I would never want my kids to feel so awful.