I dont know how many of you feel misunderstood by sheeple and what I like to call educated fools. My life has been filled with sexual abuse at a young age. Being brought into the world by an unstable 14 year old mother who really has horrible choice in men. Family that’s in denial of their sick and twisted faults and continue to pass on the demons from generation to generation instead of cutting the head off the snake. Mental illness and being able to read people for who they really are but still give them the benefit of the doubt because of the weariness from withdrawing from people because of the constant let downs and just knowing how dark the human heart, mind and soul is. I’m not trying to put my while life story on here but just need to vent I guess. Although I am at the last straw with trying to figure out why and just slip into the darkness. I’ve been there before and was brought back why I don’t know it was more relaxing there. Although people tell me I shouldn’t complain because I don’t have it that bad … If they only knew. But I feel it horrible knowing all the fucked up shit that can and will go wrong before it actually does. Not speaking as if I have psychic powers or anything just logically speaking. I see it everyday a person knows 2+2=4 but can let someone else tell them it’s 1 I just dont know what to do anymore I’m the oldest of my siblings and wish I would have offed myself long ago when I didn’t have people that actually needed my help. So I’m ambivalent to suicide but I know it’s only a matter of time before I go though with it.