I’m thirteen years old.  I don’t know if it’s true or not but for some reason I have the fact that my parents hate me implanted into my brain.  I can’t seem to be able to trust them no matter what.  They’ve been making fun of me for as long as I can remember.  Some days they’re always calling me names and screaming at me.  They always threaten and criticize me and make me feel like nothing.  They blow it off and say that they’re just being sarcastic and that I can’t take a joke, but I don’t laugh at any of their jokes.  They just blame me for everything bad that happens to them.  They always criticize the way I look and dress.  Other days they completely ignore me and pretend that I don’t exist.  They refuse to acknowledge me and my presence.  I love metal and listening to it always makes me feel better.  But my parents just say that it’s satanic and never listen to me.  When I can’t listen to music then I just start cutting myself to feel better, which they say is a side effect of listening to Deicide and Cannibal Corpse and them saying that just makes me feel even worse.  My dad has thrown away almost all of my vinyls and even tried to delete my digital files many times.  What’s even worse is that they only treat me like this when we’re alone.  They act completely different around me when other people are present and make me look like a total liar.  Even my former friends who I looked up to started beating me up in school and calling me names.  I already tried telling my guidance counselor and other people but none of them have believed me.  No one does.  I have two little sisters that are ‘normal’ to them.  They always have to compare them to me and that makes me feel completely inferior.  They’re extremely conservative Muslims, and them knowing I’m a lesbian doesn’t help that at all.  I’m an atheist but they rub it in my face all the time and constantly tell me that I’ll just go to hell no matter what.  I’d like to be able to do something about all this but I just don’t know what to do.  I used to get really good grades but now I can barely focus in class anymore.  My parents used to physically hurt me in grade school but they don’t do it as much anymore so I don’t really care about that anymore.  No one believes me anymore or is willing to reach out to me.  I seriously want to live on but I don’t know how to anymore.