I have a deep hole inside of me

January 9th, 2014by mrkil

I am 42, married with a smart and beautiful 3 year old son. I have lots of people who love me and would suffer if I was gone.

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse who last year finally reported the abuser who was arrested and plead guilty to two counts of indecent assault. He was then released with a firm talking to by the judge and nothing else.

I have a job I love that pays me well and i go to a support group once a week and see a social worker as well to help cope. I take a prescription of Wellbutrin and yet i still fell like I’m trapped and just don’t want to be here anymore. I attempted suicide in 1990 and was found and rushed to the hospital barely concious. I didn’t want to be found until the morning but had started to pass out with the TV on and my father found me.

I don’t want to hurt the ones I love but I want to stop from always feeling empty inside.

A friend and family member comited suicide of January 1st and I feel envious…..i don’t have the heart to tell anyone close to me how I feel

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