I was sad to see that most posts here are from young teenagers who are depressed. I thought they are too you to be this unhappy. Then I realised… I haven’t been happy since I was like 10. So what. People keep saying anything to keep us alive; that things can get better, that things can change. In a way, yes, i had some happy moments in my life (Im 30), I improved alot. But in the end, when I go to sleep, more often than not, I just wish to never wake up again and I’ve been feeling like this for a long time. I still feel empty no matter what dream comes true, or no matter how much I evolved. Happy moments always ends fast. Misery stays here and it just never leaves.
I started feeling I should end everything 1 year ago. I gave myself about 1 year and a half to be happy. To not think about death anymore. I told myself I would do everything, take every risk, and if I’m still not happy by then, well I’m planning the end. I still have some days to figure out how to be happy, but I sincerely don’t know how I’m gonna do this.
Please excuse my english, this is not my main language.
6 comments
I’m no teenager, nor in my thirties, so I guess I’m in the middle. Well not quite. To be honest, I too have wondered why so many very very young people wish to die. And if you look at the statistics this is typical, don’t ask me why. I take them seriously though, although not as mature as I am, some have gone to a great extent to relieve themselves from life. I might not be the best advisor now. Just letting you know you are not alone, if that’s enough? Not sure, just a try
“I too have wondered why so many very very young people wish to die.”
It’s obvious, even self-evident… if you understand humans and our world.
It has a lot to do with growing out of the illusions and false constructs in which most people insist on raising their children. You start to figure out that life really isn’t the way you’re taught to expect, as a child… and then you experience lots of very harsh things, and learn how it feels to be utterly helpless and unfairly treated… and then people keep telling you all kinds of the same types of stuff they told you as a child, but you already figured out it’s all bullshit; so you can only expect that the stuff no one prepared you for, will continue, and everyone’s solution is the same ineffective non-solution lies they told you as a child… and if you speak up and say “you’re full of shit! that’s not going to work!” then they freak out and disown you, for “being negative.”
Life is harsh. This is part of why i support the idea of raising children with as few fantastical false-constructs as possible; this way, it won’t be so shocking, psychologically damaging, when they finally have to start seeing it… once it’s too late to start preparing for it, because it’s now in your face. People should raise kids to face the real world, not “protect” them from being able to be ready for reality.
But people insist on filling children’s heads with lies, and then act surprised when they freak out upon encountering reality, and can’t figure out how to handle it effectively.
@clevername, you haven’t stolen your name people would say in my country, could not have said it better
I am still a teenager, I admire you for staying so strong for so long. I already seem to have given up. I don’t have any motivation to improve my life and @clevername I couldn’t agree with you more. But what I think the main problem is, is that our lives have become increasingly more complicated; we have go to school, work and at the end we get nothing from it, if you think about it. Life today is a race, and it’s a pointless one, depressing, disappointing and unfair. I blame the capitalism system but there’s nothing I can do about it.. @givemesomepeace, do what you feel like doing, don’t care so much, be reckless, after all people like us have nothing to loose..
@genesis, I do agree that much is expected from us these days. I’m 24 and I can honestly tell you that I don’t feel like I have achieved anything only but realising that this existence will end either way. If or not I was successful might count for the number of people being at my funeral. I’m not sure if I’m able to help anyone out, although I feel obligated to, I’m not able in the state I am in right now. I’m not going to annoy you with my stories so I will leave it at that. I was once too a teenager. Strange it seems a thousand years away. I hope you find some meaning to your life or find some fulfilment that I have never found or have yet to find. Sorry, english is not my native tongue so I try to describe my emotions to the best of my ability
Thank you all for your comments. I have to admit that reading this blog helps me a little bit. The feeling of not being alone to feel this way is good. And being able to share which I cannot do in my own life.
I wish I could get to know you all, ’cause you seem nice people with alot of things to say.
Of course, alot is expected from young people, and not that I want to be pessimistic, as I get older, I think it’s even worse. Like, time disappears.