i dont know anymore. i thought i could recover. i thought i can hold it in and just keep it to myself. to just keep it in all of it. all of the secrets. all of the lies. all of the masks. but i dont know. i dont know if im close to breaking all together. i dont know if im close to just going. i dont know if im close to jumping. i dont know if im backing away from the edge. i dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what personality is which. i dont which smile is which. i dont know reality from the lies i tell. i dont know anymore.