am i the only one who felt worse once someone told me i had severe depression?
am i the only one who stays up late thinking because sleeping will mean its closer in waking up?
i know a lot of people are feeling how i am, or worse, i just cant stop crying or feeling the way i do. i wont to change, i want to be reborn so i can take away these scares that i’ve been told im weak over. i want to start over, new body, new everything. i want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
3 comments
You are not alone in feeling that way.
Never thought about not wanting to go to bed because you will have to wake up again, but it makes sense I guess.
Unlike you, I am always somewhat excited to go to sleep, because every once in a while I have a nice dream which I even remember after waking up. And by nice dream I dont mean having sex with Jennifer Lawrence, but rather being totally content, not having to think about tomorrow and just enjoying life.
Like you, I hate waking up because I realize how all of it was just a big illusion. I actually feel worse because what you’re living through gets way worse once you experience how it feels not to be depressed.
The dream doesn’t give me hope nor the strength to continue. But it enables me to be happy at least for a couple of hours (or however long the dream will be) and for me the experience is ironically worth it.
I just had to reply to your post. I know exactly how you feel. I stay up so late every night just because i cant bare the thought of waking up to another day. I cant seem to break the habit. You are not alone!