Moving ahead

Hey people. It’s been a little while again, hasn’t. Maybe two weeks maybe less. And here I am again. Not to worry, I gave my word on not giving up and fighting these grey days till the bitter end, andd I’m still doing it. I maybe flawed in many ways but that promise is something I don’t want to break. So why am I here then? Well I wanted to ask about a few things and give a little update on myself. Maybe it’ll make someone’s day better knowing I’m still kicking.

So over the past two weeks, a couple of things have happened. To start with my workload has increased my salaries have not. I’m still pushing onward and I plan to keep doing so but, when you people have had your low points, how have you found the energy to do the work assigned to you and do the things you want to improve on? Like a hobby. I can’t lie and say it’s been easy or that suicide hasn’t crossed my mind because the unending stress, but I’ve brushed it aside over and over again. I knew picking up the glass shards that used to be who and what I was and trying to deal with them was never going to be easy, so I was prepared to ignore the feeling of just not wanting to be part of this life and do what I consider the best for my current state.

So it still works I am still here and I’ll continue to be here (for good or ill). And on that note a bit of a positive update. I was thinking the other day of setting up a Youtube channel about unforgettable experiences in life things to loo, forward to or try out, a bit from my own life, the positives I can dig out and then search new experiences to feed onto the channel. It’ll be a long ways before I even make it but maybe I will, at some point.

And finally a kind deed to maybe give you a littlebit of hope into the humanity. A week ago my old comprehensive school friend moved to live in my flat. I heard that he was going through the same kind of crap I was plus a little extra from alcoholic parents. So I did what I thought was best and invited him here and so he came. Hopefully I can keep atleast him from the shit I went through by being a friend, not a second dad.

So that’s pretty much it from here in the north. I still live, fight and struggle through life. And I hope others can do the same. Still think you all are totally awesome.

Love,
Tommi