Had some decent sleep at my girl friend’s spot last night. When we woke up, she went to work, I came home a continued my slumber. I’ve probably racked up around 14 hours of sleep.
I’m waiting to hear back from a job that I really don’t want to start. I also am wrapping up some legal trouble that is coming to a head soon.
On the outside looking in, things are coming together. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m about to engage in an upswing and I’m not wanting to, I’ve had enough of the high/low cycle.
I know my days are limited. As soon as I run out of excuses to continue on…..”I need to eat something”…..”Have to do this for someone first.”…..”Today is a holiday.”……”I’ll get discovered before I’ve had enough time to hang”
As soon as the depression lifts enough, I’ll be able to cease the impulsive moment. Hopefully
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But what if things are coming together? How can you be certain its an illusion, and less real than negative thoughts and beliefs?
And doing things for others can be a good thing. Don’t seize an impulsive destructive moment, let it pass.
I don’t see things coming together an illusion, I think the reality of that is certain. I’ve simply had enough of the ups and downs that come with life. I do not find it worthwhile.
I expect way more out of existing than what I’m capable of having.
You have a girlfriend? And youre still on this site?
Jk, dont listen to me, I am just jealous.
Yeah, I have a gf and she’s amazing. She’s 10 years younger, has a masters degree and a good job. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Some people are just never satisfied. I actually have empathy for her and she’s one of the main reasons I can’t just end it.
It’s cliche, but this girl definitely deserves someone better than me. Someone with goals and the will to live life to it’s fullest. Someone driven like her. She’s so understanding too, but I don’t deserve her hot ass. And I know it.
If you need an excuse, try anything involving potatoes
“I have to bake potatoes”
“I have to go to my moms house and eat some patatoe soup that she made for my. birthday.”
“I have to defend my dear Americans from the patatoe invasion that lorax has brought to haunt us all!”
etc…
Y’know, only casual excuses like that 😉