I did promise I wouldn’t abandon this place. I don’t know why I care so much about the people I’ve never met behind the stories I’ll never really know. I guess I just feel for you and your darkness. I wish I could take it because it seems so wasteful.
I am still very tired. Since my last post I’ve cycled through a few medications with no effect. I’ve found that I am not getting real sleep as I have some sort of growth in my head. I haven’t told my family I am on the verge of passing out at least 5 times a day and no less suicidal than I was the night it happened.
People have had worse lives. I will never truly complain about my health. I will truly complain about love though. Why do they have to be so cruel? I don’t care to understand anymore. My new mantra holds steady:”I am in good company when I am alone because I am with me.”
How unfair to give me so much to share and no one to share it with. Sadly the cycle is vicious. No one wants a downer… someone who needs a boost. I should be strong on my own, and happy. I shouldn’t be working on a Friday night and then come here to moap before bed.
But I did =)
and I am le’tired to my very being. Tired of disappointment, tired of supporting, tired of responsibilities and chores. Tired of the empty and the masks I wear.
2 comments
That’s a great mantra. In the end, you are your best friend. Try to get some rest. It’s draining to be so tired all the time.
toxicluminoth ,
that.s life it always has it’s ups and downs always will, think positive and positive things happen “most of the time” do things for yourself to enjoy yourself. I wouldn’t take meds if they aren’t helping, everyone is tired, get rest and do something the next day you enjoy doing, there is no easy answer but doing things you like to do does help take the edge off.