People can just really screw you over sometimes. Each and every person is capable of being disloyal, dishonest, fake, or cruel. so why take the risk? If there is any possible chance that someone will leave or lie or whatever, why go to them for help?
Youre all you’ve got in the world.
Theres nothing that scares me more than the word “alone”. Whenever I hear this, my heart speeds up a bit. I think that’s my biggest fear: being alone. But I am. I can’t trust anyone but myself. And I can’t even trust myself in some situations. It’s terrifying. I am unpredictable. And maybe that is what is most dangerous about me.
I am not properly diagnosed or anything but I feel like I’m bipolar. One minute I’m the happiest girl in the world, the next im crying my eyes out, then I’m just plain angry at everyone. What’s wrong with me?
i want what everyone else wants. To be happy. And to be happy, I can’t be alone. And to not be alone, I have to be able to trust. But that’s impossible when everyone around me just doesn’t understand and will leave. They run away. They always have.
I guess i have a choice. I can either take a chance and try to trust someone or I can stay in this hell I call loneliness.
believe it or not, it’s not an easy decision.
7 comments
“What’s wrong with me?”
You seem to have pretty good insight into how you feel… and what’s going on. Maybe you need a little support and someone to get some advice from. Sometimes the hardest part of life is knowing something is a challenge but having no idea how to work through it.
I know I need someone. I just don’t have anyone. I relied on other people a lot before and that was a big mistake. Now look at me.
One of my hardest challenges was realizing that not everyone is the same. Just because a lot of people treat you like garbage doesn’t mean that everyone will. It’s something I didn’t become aware of until late in the game. You don’t need a lot of people to rely on… Just having one person to support you is a good start. If it works out over time, you can build your relationships from there.
You definitely, again, have some good insight into what’s going on. It’s a matter of translating that insight into a good strategy for moving forward. That’s what I continue to work on.
How do I know if I can trust someone? If they’re not depressed or sad, I don’t want to make them feel like I do by telling my thoughts. And if they are depressed or sad, I don’t want to make it worse.
Talk about other stuff… You can find out about how a person feels by talking about neutral stuff… and watch facial expressions, eye contact, and if they seem interested. If the neutral things go okay and they seem like they’d be a good friend, then you can go from there… slowly. Don’t open the floodgates…. See how they respond and go from there. If they reciprocate and the trust is two ways, then even better…
It takes time… and it doesn’t happen overnight… but it can be worth the effort.
Okay. I’ll try. Thank you!
I feel the same way hunny! I swear I do. Im bipolar. No, im not on meds, thats what they want us to be on to call us “crazy”. I meditate and pray alot. It really has calmed me down. Im morbidly depressed everyday of my life. I can go feom happy to depressed in an instant. You have to fight that negative energy. My best feiend who I met on this website has had to call me 30times to break me out of sinking in a black hole. Like I have demons that tell me not to talk to positive ppl, but its a day by day thing. Im fighting and you can too! Im 20, a full time college student, employee of a department store and I have a horrible relationship I am in. So much going on right? But I keep pushing