I wish you lots of courage wether it’d be for living or for dying. I took the pills. But woke up three days later. Was bought to a psychologist the next day because no one in my family knew what to tell me. A year later I took them again. The same ones but twice more this time. Woke up three days later as well. After that day my life changed considerably I don’t even live in the same country anymore. I don’t get suicidal anymore haven’t in three years. When I tried to kill myself I was calm. Not particularly sad, just convinced that there wasn’t anything left worth living.

Nowadays I only get restless. I go mad if I must live in the same place for more than a few months. Routine is a waste of time. A most complete waste of time.

I’m not trying to tell you not to kill yourself, I’m just saying take it easy. Let it come to you don’t run towards it. Chances are that you won’t find any answer to your questions. But by drifting away from obsession you’ll let other questions replace them. Good luck