You’d suspect temptation to be caused by lust or just plain carnal instincts. In my case my cousin was the lustful desires I had. Yet the true temptation at the moment pegs from Nycolle the first girl I fell for. (Read my earliest posts for my deranged and mentally inadequate child in me)   Onto the point at hand, I recently created a new facebook, found her on it after finding she blocked me. I found her on snapchat as well and here is where I consider things. Should I really risk messaging her again. It’s been over 5 years, why bother my childhood love? Because its more tham just love. Its an obsession. If I had been a common criminal with the nerve to speak to her or act upon instincts. I’d have followed her home. stalked her and all that creepy binocular shit.   Instead i watched from afar, cried myself to sleep and stalked her facebook. Now i resort to the same thing and like a rehabilitated addict I still feel the familiar pangs for a hit. Or like a self harmer, the desire to put my hands on my neck and push until i fall unconcious or grab a small blad and slice my flesh.   I would chase this drug that she has become, my addiction and obsession with knowing the full brunt of withdrawal and such.   I want there to be a reset button. Pondering so much on my days at home has brought me anxiety. Gah I fucking hate my mind.