Nothing really matters to me anymore. If you need a listening ear, I’ll be there for you. If you told me something funny, I’ll smile and even crack a joke back. If you cried, I’ll offer you my shoulder and spend all my time comforting you till you feel alright. And then I’ll feel really numb, I don’t really know how to describe it, but I don’t feel happy anymore. It hurts to laugh and smile sometimes, when I just honestly want to curl up in a corner. I think I’m just being insecure, but all these thoughts will rush into my head, and I’m scared of being rejected. If you knew who I’m truly am, will you leave me? And then I bottle up my feelings till I’m freaking numb. I put everyone before myself, their problems matter more than mine and now I’m digging a hole for myself. When the mess of emotions and hidden thoughts explode, there’s not much for me to hide.
the You isn’t a specific person, it just represents my relationship with anyone; friends, family, etc.
2 comments
“digging a hole for myself” sounds familiar. when I have to suppress my emotions I imagine a big hole filled with all my feelings and problems and then I start covering that hole by throwing mud, snow, some sticks over it. what I throw over it is very important. don’t know why.
I feel u. numbness is a result of depression over a long period of time. initially I used to mind it. now I like being numb…at this point all I cn think of is the pink floyd song, comfortably numb.anywaz, talk to me. what’s making u numb?
I’m in the same boat, everyone is above me. And it’s only sinking me into the water.