Spending…

I’ve just realized I have a pretty big spending problem. It’s like I’m living pay check to pay check. I’m not sure why I’m doing it though.

Probably just buying some comfort for an hour that ends up making me feel like shit after.

I’ve been doing it quite often it seems. What is happening to me? Some sort of impulse behaviour to calm me? Trying to hold onto hope? Something more primal?

I don’t know. But I gotta stop. Bills need to be paid. Though maybe it’s been a hindrance to getting better? Or preventative measures to avoid getting worse.