All I seem to do is fuck up everything… Where do I even start? I don’t know. My head is spinning, and my body aches and if I stand the dizziness will knock me down. I don’t even know what to do with myself. My teachers tell me how I’ll make it far in life, yet I’m unable see it. Once they know I’m suicidal they’ll get the stupid counselor involved and they’ll realize how the weak cowardly freshman will never accomplish anything they once thought she would. People around me can’t keep their mouths shut, they always have something to say. I’m tired of it. I’m fucking sick and tired of it. I don’t want to go to school. I don’t want to stay home. The teachers are shoving assignments down my throat. My “friends” are tearing me apart. The tension is slowly engulfing me, and it’s so hard to breathe, so hard to think, so hard to live. Why live and be in so much pain? If I killed myself I might feel some pain initially but then it will fade into numb nothingness.
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Hey doll,
Yep, high school sucks. From the people to the assignments, to the education system, it’s not so great.
But you can make it through, I promise.
I’m a blind high school senior, and it is tough. Tough to get work done, make friends, etc, etc.
If you wish, email me.
brl.cents@gmail.com
Hi there. I wanted to let you know that it does, indeed get better. Certain things will always be a struggle for some. I am diagnosed with major chronic depression, and bipolar, with anxiety and insomnia to boot. But everything was so much worse for me in high school, especially freshman and sophomore years. I don’t know that many people who have an easy time in high school.
If you hold the thought in your mind that one day you’ll get through this, that there is hope, and at some point these things will make much more sense to you, it might help you get to the other side of this.
I am also a survivor of suicide. Both from my own attempts to hurt and/or kill myself, and of my brother’s recent suicide. I am here to tell you that there are people who care about you. Someone loves you and cares if you are alive. Someone thinks you’re beautiful. Someone thinks you’re smart. Someone doesn’t care about all those dark secrets you hold. Sometimes it feels like you’d be less of a burden if you weren’t here, but it’s not true. Your family and friends would rather have you here with your problems than face a world without you.