Weak and Useless Me

I haven’t posted for a few days because I thought I was doing okay.  I was able to buy Garry’s Mod for my computer and that seemed to distract me from a lot of things until yesterday.  I know it shouldn’t be that big of a deal to me but it just… It just is…  I was playing Prop Hunt with my friend and there was this kid, like thirteen years old who just kept repeating, “Wow, your stupid.”  And other things like that.  So a bunch of people tried to tell him to shut up, I kept quiet because thats what I do.  But he then proceeded to insult my friend and I lost it.  He had said my friend sounded like a nerd with no friends so me being me, I said.  “I’m his friend and I have been for a while.  All your doing is annoying people so why don’t you shut the f*** up?”  But this seemed to only bring his attention on to me as he started insulting me and calling me a retard.  I was so mad that he was using the word retard because its just not right, but whats making me feel even worse is I did nothing after that.  I didn’t stand up for anyone when he stopped dissing me, I didn’t tell him to stop using the word retard, I didn’t do anything.  I’m surprised I was even able to say what I did because I don’t normally do that.  I don’t stand up for myself and I don’t talk back to people, which is one of the reasons people are able to walk over me.  I was just so mad and annoyed at this kid and I was ranting to myself and my friend.  And I’m starting to rant on here…  Great, why do I always seem to do that…  URGH!  I’m just so mad I can’t stick up for anything!  Not myself and not for others!!  I feel so weak and useless!  Sorry if this post seemed to piss anyone off or if I just seem really stupid for not being able to do any of that stuff…  I should go before I say something else I’ll regret later.