I tried hanging myself, did an overdose of prescriptions. Tried everything and I am still alive. Is it because I am too scared to go far or is it because I don’t really want to die. I wonder why life is so horrible. I am really religious. I used to think that God planned out our futures. I used to that God controlled everything. I used to think that God had the ability to make you happy but he doesn’t. If he really does have that power, why doesn’t he end my life right now. That would make me happy. If God meant for life to be a gift, why did it have to be so horrible? I bet you God is looking down on the good people, the people that had meaning in life, the people that were happy. He doesn’t know about people that are homeless, the people that cry themselves to bed, people that want some meaning in the so-called “gift that “God” gave to us, people like me. I almost feel like ditching religion completely and becoming an atheist!
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Try everything. Find what works for you and do it. Some people find salvation in collecting bottle caps!
I think there is a God, but not how depicted in religion. I think we are here to learn to love ourselves and others by raising our vibrational frequency.
I also know I have created a lot of my own suffering, and am too lazy, indifferent, or overwhelmed to know how to deal with it.
I think we have a purpose and that we don’t remember it, and that we need clues to jar our subconscious.
But I don’t think there is a big giant head shaking a finger at us.
We live in challenging times, with more overwhelming fear-triggering info available than ever before. Then there is all the superficial stuff that accentuates what we don’t have or haven’t accomplished.
There is a lot to navigate.
I think God sees everyone, without the masks.
Hey. I don’t know you but you must have gone through a lot of suffering if you’re here. You say you are religious. Since you used to believe that God is in control of the world, I have to ask you: what religion do you have? Do you know that God is actually not in control of this world? At least not for now.
infidels dot org.
all i’m gonna say.
It’s because the world just isn’t very good place to live in.
I keep trying to die, but being disabled I have such limited means. But anyway I have tried so far even though I have tried hard, has failed. It is not that I don’t want to die. I absolutely want to die. If I could find a cliff I’d throw myself off if only I could find the courage. I was close to a highway recently and seriously thought about getting myself in front of a car. What really stops me is the fear of a suicide failure which is a very common (and often horrific) event. I can’t bear to make my life worse than it already is with some catastrophic suicide failure.
Here is my theory because I believe in the supernatural. I believe that some supernatural being, which is malicious in nature, is using its powers to keep me alive for some purpose of its own. That is why I can’t manage to die. There is always something blocking me for instance in my house there are no metal shower curtain rods to hang from. There is nothing to hang from. It’s like the supernatural force ensured me to live in a place that I cannot possibly hang myself. I can’t hang myself from a tree outside without being found by one of my zillion busybody neighbours. I can’t drive myself to the store to buy a gun. I can’t talk my mom into shooting me. So what I’m trying to say, whether you believe in the supernatural or not, is that some of us are blocked from dying and others die so easily.
1 Peter 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
Luke 11:5 And he said unto them, Which of you shall have a friend, and shall go unto him at midnight, and say unto him, Friend, lend me three loaves;
6 For a friend of mine in his journey is come to me, and I have nothing to set before him?
7 And he from within shall answer and say, Trouble me not: the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give thee.
8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
Life is so horrible because lots of people are horrible, We are taught to not be around the negative and leave a sad person, when those are the ones who need so much love. Knowing this does not make things easier, its just the reason why life is Horrible.