woe prison

Hi
I have a question can you answer me?
I,m a shy and quite person and never I’ll tell my secrets to anyone but…If you really love sb is it normal to do anything to make him or her upset or disappointed?
I want to tell my feelings but the incapacity revenge me I want to cry I love you but I cry go away I hate you.I wasn,t like this but I can’t tell anyone about my inner person and now I have nobody who really loves and know me.
It seems like that I am in a prison which I have made and there is no way to escape.