Ive posted again and again on here and have not yet managed to kill myself.I know im running out of time.Something more tragic is coming if i dont commit and succeed at suicide.Like me being homeless.I wish i could just run in front of a car and get it over with but i freeze.Ive tried dehydrating myself and overdose.Apart of me is afraid of succeeding just cause i dont know what is after this.What if i come back to this earth.what if hell is real and ive got to look forward to demons poking at me with knives in a dugeon for the rest of my life.So those are the things that run through my mind.You might say anything is better than here but what if its not?But i do hate my life.Being completely dependent on my parents at twenty one is not what i wanted.and my parents barely have the means to take care of me.we are struggling financially.My mom works two jobs my dad doesnt work at all.they live in the same house but they hate eachother.And then my mom says today she might have a polyp in her nose.The first one wasnt cancerous but what if this one is.and my dad also just had surgery.Im worried i wont have them in my life for much longer and im worried about the future.I dont want to live on the streets and i dont want to live in an institution for the rest of my life.I dont want to leave my parents but i also have to think about whats going to happen to me.I have to die.somehow.someway i just have to die.