I quit. I can’t save people, I can’t talk to people, I can’t love people right, I can’t do it. I’m done.
Fuck everything. Fuck the images replaying in my head. Fuck my fucked up choices.
And no matter how much love and care you give to people they’re going to chew you up and shit you out. They never take you serious enough. There’s a quote I read….”A lot of you cared, just not enough.”
I’m going to start cutting everyone off now. It saves me the pain later. And this God I’m supposed to believe in knows I’m tired of it. Done being strong for everyone else. Done acting. Done putting on a happy face. Done hoping the future gets better. Done. Out of all the people who fucked me over in my life, I hate myself the most.
Does it ever fucking end?
12 comments
Hi! I honestly hate myself to for reasons I’m sure you wouldn’t understand. I tried talking to God too but I realized he ain’t there. I was supposed to die at birth but I lived…fuck.. Because every day is worse than last. Does it end well that’s why we ce to here sweet heart to hope that maybe I wish I could encourage you but I’m floating next to you
Oh believe me, even if I didn’t understand I’m sure they wouldn’t be as shocking as some of the stuff I could tell you.
I was supposed to die as a baby too since I was born premature. But the lucky, full grown baby next to me in the hospital died instead. Go figure.
God has to be there. He’s probably laughing his ass off at this joke he’s got going for me.
Ha ha God, ha ha. So what, if I don’t find the joke funny and bleed myself out, I go to hell?
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
People suck. Most of the time. Sometimes they’re okay. But that fickle tendency people have to cast you aside is never an enjoyable reality to face. Sorry you’re having a hard time. 🙁
it isn’t, is it.
@lorax
Meh….I’m beginning to get used to it. Still hurts, but it’s all I ever expect nowadays.
I had a desiease at birth and I wish I wasn’t this miricale baby but brotha talk. Your just like me I’ve always felt god put me hear for his entertainment chazcountie@yahoo.com we can talk your the first person to respond to me. My name is Charlie
Hm. I think I’m done talking to people outside of SP. No offense to you or anything. I made some friends on here and one just disappeared completely and I’m on the verge of losing another.
So, I have to stop bonding with people. It’s causing me too much pain. I have all this love to give and it’s either trashed, used the wrong way, or ignored completely.
So I quit with people.
I feel honoured to have become a part of your life this past month. Of all the people I have gotten to know this past year – you certainly take the cake. Thank you for letting me into your life.
When I first heard your voice there was a…certain ‘tell’ to it that alerted me to the fact that something was really wrong. You probably couldn’t tell how messed up I am from my voice, but I heard something in yours.
I’ll let you rest for now, but I’ll be here for you tomorrow morning; the day after; the week following; and the month proceeding that.
…even if you’re not there.
I told you I’m not leaving your side Shep. It’s usually other people who leave me. So to avoid that I’m going to be cautious with the people currently in my life and not get close to new ones.
But thanks for sticking around. I’ll try to as well. Physically at least.
…I’ll need your beautiful soul still tethered to your physical form as well, Miss.
I’ll do the same with myself.
I’m sry wish I could have helped but I uh..ok
If you really REALLY need to talk to me outside SP I won’t mind. My email is gianna@buscetti.com. I’m always willing to listen