I’m tired of being taken advantage of and sacrificing everything that has defined me. The lies, betrayal, and overall the feeling of stupidity has destroyed my way of life. I never have put so much depth into thoughts, creating these insane scenarios, having my mind beat me till I’m black and blue. People. The more I surround myself with people, the worse everything gets. Taunted, ridiculed, and abused for absolutely no reason at all. The second that happens, I instantly feel lower than others, comparing myself to others. Deep down, I’m fucking raging with hate and  desperately seeking for some kind of justification for all the wrong piling in my life. I don’t care for anything anymore because I know it will be taken from my grip.
Goddamn it, why? Why has this happened? What made me this hostile, violent, bum of an individual? I want to remove everyone away from me, keep them at a safe distance and no longer have them set foot near me because they have fucking ruined me. Â My heart has been ripped away, stomped on until there was nothing but a mangled mess. I’m fucking disgusted with this race, way of living and the destruction of our only home. Too fucking concerned with money, sex and fame and not concerned with the wasteland we currently reside in. We are murdering ourselves, collecting senseless, useless shit believing that we actually need these materials.
We need to open our goddamn eyes, realize what a joke we all are, and put a fucking gun to our empty, crackpot skulls.
It’s right in front of us. Take a step back and you’ll see the entirety of the situation.
2 comments
That was really refreshing to read, and i would blow my brains out right now if i could.
but still feels like a waste of open minded people you know ….
As far as the civilization side goes, it well may happen that our society implodes one day because of its brutal shortsightedness. I’m less sure that alone is enough reason for someone who was born into that society to commit suicide. The things going on with the planet and so on are well beyond your control or mine. The only things people can do there are small ones, such as buying less stuff, maybe. But I doubt civilization is like a single person who can plan an individual future out and behave rationally–the world’s more like a tug of war between ants over a bread crumb.
Your other issues might also be reasons for suicide. And since they don’t involve international political economy, they might be easier to help. It’s up to you.
I hope things go well for you.