Emotional pain

Long lasting depression usually has a physiological basis. Depression makes us feel isolated whether we are or not. It can make us loathe ourselves and feel like we’re cursed. When we feel this way,, we often seek to protect those we love, from ourselves, -another reason why suicide can be so appealing. Not only does it mean an end to our pain but we sense the world (our loved ones) would be much better off without us. If it does not go away, it may help to see a professional and try some treatment. I know this works very well, for some. Not so well for others.
There are no easy answers unfortunately,, but a proactive (and as positive-minded as possible) approach is usually best. Maybe start doing stuff just for you. Make some new friends. Take a salsa class, -whatever you enjoy. If you have no desire for anything, I would try antidepressants before suicide. My brother said, they worked for him, (he said it was like turning on a light switch,, it just removed the darkness) they make some very mild ones today (i need this myself, actually). Good luck to you. And remember what a wise man once said ”It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.’ -krishnamurti