There is this guy.. We’ve been seeing eachother for a month or two now. Initially we agreed to just be fuck buddies, but feelings got in the way and it’s all a mess now. He’s 24 and i’m 17.. We spend all the time we can together.. We kiss, cuddle, text the whole time and basically act like we’re going out.. We stopped sleeping with other people bexauze we really like eachother.. He’s amazing and perfect in every single way!! But he told me that he doesn’t want a relationship because of the age difference which breaks my heart, but I understand where he is coming from. But now it’s all so much more complicated because I love him.. I have never felt this way about someone before. But if I tell him how I feel then I will mess everything up and he won’t want to hang out with me anymore.. but I hate not being able to tell him.. I want to tell him every time I’m with him, but I don’t want to ruin things 🙁 I know he likes me, but I don’t think he likes me as much as I like him.. it’s so bad that I’m going away to try and get over him.. What do I do? Can anyone help?
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7 comments
he’s using you. you’re worth more than that. ditch him and move on.
He doesn’t want to have a relationship with you because of how old you are, but then he has no problem with sleeping with you? Do you have any idea how backwards that is? I don’t know anything for sure, but it seems like he only wants to sleep with you, and is using age as a last minuet excuse to not make it anything more than that. Either that, or I’m missing something.
I have to agree with the last comment, it is kinda weird that he doesn’t want a relationship but he does sleep with you, you did agreed to just do it for the sex but still… doesn’t sound right.
I wanted to add something to this tho. I’ve dated younger girls a couple of times, which were in a similar age range to yours (16-18), never gave the age difference much thought, but after a couple of years of being in serious commited relationships, both times i was dumped at around the same age (20-21), so maybe he is afraid of that “personality change” that happens to girls before/around college age. When that happens, all the wonderful things that you see about him might turn into all the opposite, and the dreaded “i don’t know how i feel anymore” or “we should just be friends” phrases comes to mind.
I’m really sorry if i’m generalizing here (i hate to do that) but i do see a pattern behaviour there, and it’s not just me, many of my friends have went through the same thing in relationships that ended in the same way/age. and maybe he has gone through the same thing before.
I’d love to answer your query, but I don’t fancy breaking my month long sobriety just to process this conundrum you have yourself in. Yes, I have encountered folks before who have entered sexual relationships with individuals older than themselves, but the fact you aren’t exactly “adult” and that he expresses no romantic desires for you at all seems to point to one solution – leave him.
Or you could continue to be an object of sexual desire and nothing else. Which quite frankly he can do so with “Palmela Handerson”. You’re better than this, Rainbow. That’s all I’ll say.
I’m going to have to second other people’s posts here-he’s definitely using you. Think about it, if he loved you as you loved him then you guys would’ve been dating and talking about marriage.
He’s deliberately putting distance between you and him because he still sees you as his fuck-buddy.
If you’re afraid of losing him, is he really worth keeping then? Hun you’re better off finding a guy who truly cares for you.
I have thought thag he is using me, I must wasn’t too sure.. But thank you everyone 🙂
But like he will drive 30 miles just to see me even if it isn’t for long, not for sex but just to see me. Like all his friends think we’re going out because he will happily kiss me in front of them.. he said amother reason he won’t get with me “just now” is because he has not long came out of a 3 year relationship.. I guess I’m just trying to find a reason to stay with him. Having severe depression doesn’t help and he doesn’t help my situation. I just want answers from him..