Hello. I may seem like your average 13 almost 14 year old. But i’m not. I’m so disgusting. I have scars all over my body. I’ve been bullied for almost 9 years. People hate me, even though I’ve done nothing to them. I’ve been hospitalized 4 times. I’ve had 31 suicide attempts. I’m just done. I can’t do this anymore. I know eventually I’m going to end my life. I just know it.
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You’re such a beautiful person. Those scars only show the fight and strength in you and your ability to persevere. I was on this site 2 years ago, wanted to end my own life when I was 13, but here I am today, happy and full of love for all of you, hoping to help. Please think before you make this decision. You are so unique. There is not one person out there like you. You’re not alone though. I promise. It will get better. You are amazing. You can email me at (check lower post) if you wanna talk. Stay with me and put a smile on that face. 🙂
Wilkerson427@live.com
“Hello. I may seem like your average 13 almost 14 year old. But I’m not.”
Yeah you are. No matter how different you think you are from others your age, you’re not even the slightest bit different from them. If you’ve attempted suicide 31 times and haven’t died, then you aren’t doing it right, and are more than likely looking for attention.
Want to appear different from others your age? Then grow the fuck up and make something out of your life other than being an attention whore.
This is not true at all. I’ve kinda been in this person’s shoes, and I was certainly not an “attention whore” I went through a very tough time in my life. My teacher committed suicide and I blamed myself. Today, I’ve been clear-minded for 2 years. Who are you to judge this young person? Be considerate and compassionate, not bigoted and rude.
If a person was looking for attention by attempting suicide, wouldn’t they have told someone about it by now? You don’t get attention if you keep it secret, therefore if the OP kept it secret (which I assume they did), they were not looking for attention.
Hi, kissmyb0nes,
Sorry to hear you have had such a hard life already. I really honestly feel for you and am here if you would like to talk. No-one has to endure shit you must have gone through. Do you have any good friends to talk to and hang around with? How about your family, parents, siblings? How are they acting to your situation? Bullying can be so devastating; I used to be bullied too as a kid a lot and I finally had to quit the school, I was a bit older then than you are now, so I had the option. But I know how bullying feels. Have you tried switching school yet? That has helped many kids to get a fresh new start and a possibility for better school environment. Also an outside helps is never a bad thing, but with your history you must have already had some conversation with psychologist or other specialists.
Is it just bullying or do you otherwise have things just about ok? I hope they are. Suicide is not an option for you, you´ll get out of school eventually and after that you are a master of your own actions and you can choose where to live, work and what to do; so don´t just give up – you are too young and precious for that. Remember you´re not disgusting, it´s just the feeling you have when it has been told to you so many times. After a while people tend to believe what is said about them even if it´s not even remotely true. You must be a great kid with just too much hardship and I honestly hope you´ll find strength to keep on going. Keep your head high and be proud of who you are; even though it has to be almost impossible. Take care and remember, people here care and you can always write here, I´ll talk to you as much as I can.
Serenity of Solace, you think a kid who has tried suicide 31 times, had been hospitalized for 4 times and have had to endure bullying for his/her whole life is average, then you need to grow up and not underestimate and dismiss others problems like that. Of course it´s attention seeking for the misery he or she is going through – that´s obvious. But if you´ve got nothing constructive to say other than “grow the fuck up” please I sincerely ask you to keep your thoughts to yourself. You have your right for an opinion of course but subtlety is strongly advised in some situations.
Nothing personal, but just can´t stand the lack of sympathy in people; for the sake of it, you could have said even a one positive thing; instead bash and bring people down when they are there in the deep void already.
Loving life, thank you so much. 🙂
No problem, hope you get some strength and willpower to endure those school years; there is and will be a future for you and I bet it can´t be as bad as it is now, just like I said be proud of who you are and try to appreciate yourself more than anything – school years will end eventually.
And remember here are a lot of people to talk to when you hit your rock bottom – like Haley and me for example. And even if you don´t feel so down, I´d like to hear about how you are doing and how are you managing from day to day. In the meanwhile keep enjoying the things which make you happy in life and I´m so glad to see that smiley face, it has brought a smile and happiness to my face too. 🙂
Take care and be proud of yourself and try to have a smile every now and then.