I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. First I woke up and didn’t feel myself, and since then my mood’s been up and down throughout the day. I’ve been going from happy to angry to upset, and it’s the stupidest, littlest things causing it – sometimes nothing has happened and my mood changes. It’s been like this more recently; more evident and severe within the past 8 to 9 months. My 5 year old brother and even my stepdad flinch whenever I raise my hand for anything because they know I can fly off the handle at any time.
Just earlier today I came downstairs in a grumpy mood, and minutes later I had a breakdown and my mum could barely calm me down – she was just as confused over it as I am. I’ve just had the entire week off school because of my anxiety, overdosing and my mood swings. My sleep is suffering even more than usual now. I used to cry for a while until I fell asleep, but now I’ll go upstairs and sit for hours thinking of how pathetic I am, then I’ll think of how I hate everyone and then I’ll breakdown. It’s even getting to the point where I’m crying and planning another suicide attempt. Eventually I’ll fall asleep between 4:30 and 6:30. Though there have been times where I haven’t slept for days at a time.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t keep doing thins. Even my mum’s becoming concerned about my mood swings. I know I need to tell my therapist and psychiatrist, but I don’t know how to explain it to them of how to even bring it up. I’m just so confused, and I just want to know if there’s anything wrong with me that could be causing all of this.