17 year old girl kills herself
How does that sound?
She traveled to Haiti, helped build a school, was part of the soccer team, contributed more than 200 hours of service to her community.
Does that make my life anymore valuable than the next victim?
What about being disrespectful, to my parents, my sister, myself
Do I deserve death now?
Every time I feel down an depressed I tell myself I don’t have he right to, there are so many people in worse conditions with a smile on their face and here I am complaining
I don’t deserve not have the right to feel sad
I also don’t deserve half the stuff I have, as my father likes to say
I never know whether to take it as a joke or not
He buys me stuff then says “here you go but you don’t deserve it”
Why buy it then?
Why shove that in my face almost daily?
I don’t deserve those $5
I don’t deserve that bag of chips
I don’t deserve my parents driving me around
I deserve nothing
I’m rude, disrespectful and I never do anything
I’ve cleaned that house many times and when I complain it seems that that overpowers everything
At that instant I’m lazy and don’t deserve anything
17 year old girl killed herself
Am I going to?
No, I have no right to do so
I’ve thought about it but I will most likely not
I’ve wondered what it must feel like to cut your wrist open
Fall off a building even
Is it worth it?
I bet not
I’m a punk
Most people think that those who commit suicide are weak
I think they are very bold
They are willing to leave everything behind
It’s easy because in their mind they have nothing
I couldn’t kill myself
Not because I have nothing in the world but because I have nothing to leave
If I die my family and friends will only be concerned and sadly they won’t even remember me by much
Who am I?
Who was I ever?
I wasn’t the outgoing girl who brought joy to everyone
If anything all I ever do is cause my parents to get mad and irritated and make life difficult
My friends?
All I was to them was stupid
I could go unnoticed until I had to speak up
If I don’t reach out to people they would never reach out to me
17 year old girl kills herself
Who was she?
Did she even go out?
Is she the fat one?
The girl who smells like smoke all the time?
Is she the one who wears those paint stained jeans all the time?
My reasons to die are pathetic
And my reasons to live are pathetic too
So what do I do
I have no idea
Why continue living if no one notices me
Why waste the energy to kill myself when my life will eventually be taken away