The note is complete. not really the best but its fine. but even now, when i am this close, i am not sure. its still looking like a hazy dream. David455 once asked here – “Is suicide romantic?” i can now definitely understand this question. but he went through the whole process. even now, when i can do it any day, its looking like a romantic idea.
I am not sure. Have i tried enough? ofcourse i have. there is no try left. being in the middle is a shitty situation. all you can do is rot. i do not suffer enough to do it without second thought. but i cannot live like this either. everything is perfect. i will not get a chance like this again. i must do it now otherwise my future will not forgive me. won’t everybody be surprised? “its so hard to leave, until you leave. and then its the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”
let me see. what’s stopping me? only this sense of surprising everyone. and maybe i am a little hesitant in actually actualizing my dream, because then it will end and it will become reality.
Maybe tomorrow.
By the way i am not talking about suicide, i am talking about going away from society.
99 comments
Aww, you too? Let me get on the bus, too. I got my own ride and everything. =)
There never was a, “try,” in the first place. Master Yoda knew that, and learn from his wisdom, you must, else consume you, the dark side of the force will.
According to legend, a man from India did the same exact thing a long time ago. Word on the street is he found enlightenment somewhere along the way. Ditching society worked out for Sid.
I think….. Selflessness is the missing key. Maybe..
=x
Halt, the lost of eternity. Bring back with you a kingdom.
Nature, is always the evolution. Oh, a god damned humble horse.
It seems that only. It seems that only, goddesses evocate.
But the world a crumble. Inside the domino of doom.
I just want to be a happy bongo.
Hanged, I don’t even have myself. Listening to music.
Yo.
If nature is a descriptive word referring to every function and form that has arisen in the material universe, is not civilization also a part of nature? 😕 I’ve always wondered that.
Yes xanadu, it is. Nature in it’s more abusive way. Fuck that, I don’t think our humanity is natural in the first place. We’re the fucked up hybrids, we were given the beaks of eagles – your nose. Flesh engineered. =bbbbb
Civilization has been created by man, whereas stuff in nature occurs naturally without mans influence.
You could say that the concept of “god” was created by man in order to explain nature, the origins of the universe, etc., but god isn’t a natural part of nature because it’s a manufactured concept.
Hmm. Plastic floating in the ocean…I guess that’s part of nature now, too.
If nature is a description of everything that occurs within the material world I suppose it has become corrupted.
But humankind is just as much a part of nature as a tree or a rock or Britney Spears. If a fox digs a den, is the den not part of nature still?
Yeah, I see your point. Then again, a virus or a cancer is also part of nature.
Nigel, Eureka. Look what has happened to this one, by adding the eagles nose DNA formula! Our bones, re-structured. The alien with the millennium knowledge, used to be.
Concept of “God?” God is only, after all, a word. The meaning of it is actually quite simple. It means, there’s more than one way to say it…. The supreme goodness. The almighty, lol. The ultimate righteousness. What else… “God” means “goodness” in it’s supreme form. It’s quite simple.
The other stuff about God, ….. God is science, maaaan. God is just a word.
God is the apex. God is me and you.
not me though. I’m hades. Boo-hoo, hades.
I guess nature works towards a beneficial outcome. Everything within a system works together, in harmony to achieve the best possible results for all involved.
Things seem to go awry when the balance is knocked out of whack. When one (or more) entities exploit others within the system to benefit themselves at the lesser parties expense.
So civilization can be a part of nature if all parties involved benefit…..unless it is within mankind’s nature to be inherently corrupt, self serving and uncaring about harmonious beneficial effects for the other organisms within the system….which means *that* is the natural order of things from mankind’s perspective.
Hmm. Yeah, Idk.
I don’t think a lion hunting down a gazelle is the best possible outcome for the gazelle or for a worm when a bird feeds it to it’s chicks or for an infected when a parasite breaks down it’s body… Although there is a need for species to be kept down to manageable levels within an ecosystem. Just a thought, not really in the mood for philosophy.
Nature changes. Nature is change. It’s like toppling stacked dominoes – who knows what it’ll be from moment to moment. But living systems strive for homeostasis unless they’re unhealthy systems that are veering towards collapse.
Haha, are you a flower child? Yes, civilization is a total anal. That’s what we’ve all been saying. We are a god damned crime against nature. That is the judgement.
The only question, is, what now? And…. I wish I was. alive
Nature is dead. Fire is change.
Nature has been devoured, surrounded. Where do we run. Let’s go, Pikachu.
@xanadu; I’m trying really hard to be objective here and leave out subjective values, designations like “good” or bad”.
If civilization is a part of nature, it’s still a work in progress. Only time will tell if it’s one of nature’s failures or success stories. Not everything in nature survives; species come and go, systems eventually fade into oblivion.
Different civilizations have flourished and toppled in the past. Right now there are more people on the planet than at any other time in history. Is this part of nature? The new order of things to come? Is the current system conducive to sustained beneficial outcomes for all involved? (Don’t want to editorialize).
Change, upheaval, transition…sure. I guess the here and now is just the in-between part between “back then” and “in the future”. Seems pretty natural to me. 🙂
If science has revealed anything about the universe as a whole, it’s that everything is always a work in progress, which is leading towards no particular goal aside from existing. I do like Alan Watts’ take on it;
“You and I are all as much continuous with the physical universe as a wave is continuous with the ocean.”
Yeah, I’m still ruminating over the – is civilization a part of nature – question.
I’m thinking the answer is yes, but in its current form it might turn out to be one of nature’s failures. Time will tell. (Hopefully I’ll be gone by then).
There is no success or failure – no star is better or worse than any other, they just come and go, burn in space and then disperse to seed new stars elsewhere, and nothing is ever permanent. Human judgments about that sort of thing depend entirely on how comfortable you are in the situation you’re in – if you morally, or ethically disagree with the course of the world around you, all you can do is either change it, or change yourself, or find some middle ground between the two poles. I rather like the third option.
Change isn’t nature, water is nature. Change is a power. What are you guys even talking about?
but yeah… change is nature, too, I understand that.
if you want to call the universe and cosmic force nature too.. haha
too many degrees. out of boundaries. Damn, I need help to be free.
Nature is in a constant state of change. Everything – people, animals, plants, trees, rivers, the air- it’s in a constant state of transition. Nothing stays the same for even a second.
Think of a river. It may flow within a stationary boundary (its banks) but it’s constantly in motion. Each individual droplet is moving along and being replaced by the droplet behind it. Everything in nature is like that; we’re all in a state of latency- becoming something else as we continue being what we are.
Okay, Phil. Here, why don’t you have a beer. I’m more interested in your inner transition, where is your human being taking you. What the plan, mAan?
jus messing though
Sorry. today is a messed up day, naturally. Excuse me ya’ll.
Every day is messed up, so you’re excused as long as you can provide evidence that your pet snail really did eat your homework.
naturally as in the constant. sigh
Oddly enough, I’m thinking about dinosaurs now. If they were rendered extinct by an asteroid, it’s not as if the asteroid was on a killing spree. The rock from space didn’t have a vendetta against T-Rex & friends. Shit happens. <—- That may be the meaning to life right there.
@Morlock; I've got enough saved up that I don't have to worry for a few weeks. The plan is to barbeque every day, drink beer, watch TV, and wait for an epiphany. I'll let you know when I get some divine intervention. 🙂 If I don't experience a miracle, uh, I'll come up with a plan B.
lol. I actually read an article on a science-news website about panspermia, and how, if the dinosaurs were really wiped out by a giant asteroid or something, it’s possible there are now super-advanced dinosaurs living on other planets, driving around in cars and sipping on low-fat cow-blood lattes.
Seriously?! I knew the dinosaurs were advanced, but really?
I’ve heard that a few dinosaurs survived the holocaust and they’ve thrived underground or underwater (like the Lock Ness monster). I had no idea they were capable of space travel.
I’ll bet the godammed aliens are behind this.
Well, panspermia is the theory that life on earth started thanks to an asteroid or other celestial body impacing a far-flung world elsewhere in the cosmos, thus allowing all the building blocks of life to turn into a kind of viral astronaut which landed on earth billions of years ago. So it makes sense if you believe panspermia isn’t just a kooky theory. lol
Google, “I for one welcome our alien dinosaur overlords…maybe” to find the article.
*Loch Ness*
impacting*
I’m sensing a reptilian connection here. “I for one welcome our reptilian overlords”.
I love conspiracy theories. Can’t say I believe ’em, but I love it when people connect the dots and come up with some far flung, whacky, difficult-to-outright-dismiss explanation.
That’s just it – that dude’s not a crackpot, he’s a legit science guy proposing a legit idea that follows from a speculative hypothesis in the life sciences. Personally, I think it’s loony as a schizophrenic rambling on about how the CIA is watching him from the clouds, but really, anything’s possible. Haha…
Yeah…it messes with my head considering how little we really know and how far off we could be about everything we thought we knew.
Well, to be fair, we do know some things, like we know cats enjoy catnip and are adorable, and that it’s not fun when you get poo flung at you while walking down the road, but we have no clue what exists in the rest of the universe, how big the universe actually is, whether it even has an end or if it just keeps on going infinitely, and thus contains many other infinite universes within bubbles of universy-stuff (a la Stephen Hawking). Because if the universe is infinite, then many infinities can fit inside it. Yep, that’ll boggle yer noggin.
nature is the flower
There are parts of the ocean that have never been visited by man. More men have traveled to space than set foot on certain sections of this planet (Earth. I’m assuming you’re on Earth).
What’s in the center of this planet? There’s a lot of ______ in there. Do creatures live there? I hear the weather is ok in the center of the earth (kinda hot though).
Then there’s the rest of the universe once you leave this planet. Yeah….what’s out there? Can we travel once we’re dead? I’d really like to check out other planets once I’m dead (assuming that’s an option).
Do other universes have intelligent life? Their own gods? What are their philosophies on meaning/purpose/origin, etc. Is the cosmos all tied together, or does it consist of different regions/principalities, etc.? Do different rules apply to different galaxies?
Maybe humans are just monkeys who think too much?
Who knows. Hope the OP doesn’t mind all of this random chit chat. I’d offer you guys a beer if you were here. I barbequed some bratwurst today. Man, it was tasty.
I’m pretty sure humans are in fact just monkeys that spend too much time thinking and too little time eating mites from one another’s heads. lol
You ever notice how aliens are never depicted as hairy? I guess once you evolve you lose your hair (thus eliminating the need for mite extraction).
Aliens don’t have mouth’s, either. Apparently they communicate telepathically and they don’t eat. Which means they don’t poop or fling poo.
So….if humans are a cross-breed between aliens and primates, “advanced specimens” are bald and don’t talk shit.
How’s that for a conspiracy theory? You sure you don’t want a beer?
You checked out the star-child skull video too or what? They do have mouths, and even teeth that could of used to eat. It just seems that they just don’t have the proper organ function for oral speech, though, supposedly. And that’s why the concept of communicating telepathically arises.
And that’s a whole nother fascinating aspect.
who’s talking s***?
You never hear about aliens going to the dentist or whitening their teeth. I guess they don’t like setting appointments – those cow abductions/experiments are more time consuming than we could have known. I don’t know if aliens even care about vitamin D.
@Morlock; I meant humans in general.
Hey, you’re the one that brought up about aliens and teeth. I don’t even want to talk about aliens. haha
aliens and their mouths rather. I brought up the teeth.
Yeah…can’t say I know much about aliens teeth, either.
They don’t have prominent mouths, though. I wonder if they’re modeled after Asians, you know? Small, thin lips and all that? Idk.
We’re not off topic, are we?
Alien bones are like…. formulated entirely differently (im going with the star-child skull thesis btw). Theirs bones are like ….. 5 times thicker and harder then of humans or something. That’s why Jesus got beat up like he was 12 men, and kept walking.
Really? Jesus was an alien? That’s the backstory?
(I learn so much here). I wonder if Jesus knew kung-fu.
He still got crucified though. I guess even the strongest of aliens are still capable of being defeated.
12x harder …
Lol modeled after Asians for their lips? Na but, their round oversized cranium heads reminds me of them bulgy round dolphin heads. Hmmm,
Hmm. Dolphins, aliens and Jesus. (Good band name). I wonder if there’s a connection.
Dude, let me grab that beer. Crash me a spot.
Our first album can be called “Jesus, the alien dolphin”.
How about “An Alien Dolphin named Jesus”?
“Alien Jesus & the Dolphins”
Hold on. Brainstorming ….
lol, save my goddamn life, if you can help me out. I have my finances to sustain myself, and to share. Let’s gather the supplies.
yeah, cruise over
yea?
I’m not sure how I can be of assistance. You seem like a nice guy and I’m not adverse to helping, but I’m no alien dolphin Jesus.
Na, I’m just wanting to find a nice place with nice scenery, not really asking anything out of you, other than… crashing me a spot. How’s your current place looking like? haha
I don’t know, where ever you are I imagine would be sublime compare to this pit hole that I’m in.
lets find a bigger suitable place, or whatever. lol I just want to chill, man.
Or to just kick it for the next few days. And, whatever goes on from there.
I have to be out of here by June 30th. My current accommodations are temporary. Where I go next is anyone’s guess. I don’t even know yet.
That’s the truth. My plan is to barbeque, drink beer, and try to figure out my next move. I have cash so I’m not worried, but I have no idea where I’ll be 30 days from now.
I see. So what, are you willing to host I at your humble abode for the meantime or what? haha. Is it a nice place? BBQ? In the front or the back yard? =b
front or backyard…
not going off topic
Dude; I am the epitome of instability. I cannot predict where I’ll be July 1st. Honestly, I have no idea.
I’m 700 miles away from you. Coming here would not be prudent financially speaking. I don’t have a back -yard, just a porch. That’s where I BBQ. There’s a crazy homeless cat out there that’s adopted me, too. I hope she does alright after I’m out of here.
We should probably discuss more about each other, though. And sorry if I don’t sound proper at times. I do have this darn stricken condition that makes me… out of beat (sinus asphyxiation) is my main problems…. Not funny at all. I need to recuperate from that mainly, and that’s why I want out of this mass city cluster air so bad.
Haha
If I come down there, I’d have to stay there for the month though…. cause 700 miles and all. Haha. If the destination is chill, it should be worth it.
and we’ll try to invite others to join the paaAarrrrTtty to the deeeeeaaatthhhhhh
Earlier in this thread we were discussing nature. How nature is in a constant state of change, transition, upheaval, flux, etc. That’s a perfect metaphor for my life. I am nature in action. I’m the droplet of water flowing down the river who has *some* control but I don’t know what will happen next. I make plans, I do this and that, but I never know how things will pan out.
If you want predictability look elsewhere. I don’t know what will happen next and I’m loathe to take on any new responsibilities.
Dude, you seem like a nice guy, but I’m in the midst of my own shit-storm at the moment. I’ll be fine (more than likely) but I can’t accept any added responsibilities at this point in time.
Wasn’t trying to add any responsibility on ya like that or anything. I’m just sitting here doing s***. I just want to be elsewhere instead of here, and do my own thing, too.
But yeah, it’s cool, though. Rock on
n all
Hey, man. I just want to be a fish in the water, too.
Life is a struggle. It’s a ***** for everyone, I wish you the best.
Alright. Just let me know if you want to party.
when*
Are you familiar with yurts?
http://www.smilingwoodsyurts.com/files/3013/4514/6730/MATTERN%20YURT%20small%20version.jpg
I may go Mongolian. (Wikipedia for more info).
Mongolian would be nice indeed. Hey, man. I was saying I can come up with like 6 bills a month to pool for us. Would that crack the deed or wat?
The Mongolian yurt structure is fascinating. Whao.
Mongolia is a cold region though, so the yurts over there are made compacted with heavy layers of cloth or furs and leathers made to keep warm, and the outer plastic for water protection which isn’t very appealing. I looked up the raw made Mongolian yurts, haha, it’s quite savaged. Made by cloth and alooot of animal furs, with a stack of fresh bloody fur on the side. Gruesome pic.
na it would be cool though
@Morlock you wanna come too? i am going to Himalayas. I don’t know about other things but scenery is going to be beautiful. there will be no safety however. i will resort to traditional way of survival for people like me: begging.
@Xanadu are you Lorax? i do not understand what you mean by not trying in the first place. i have tried a lot. however sometimes i feel like everything that has happened with me was.. Inevitable. i was kind of destined to get on this path. everything was biased, including my own tries. I have admiration for Master Yoda, not so much for his wisdom as for his poetic way of talking. however i think where i am now is the dark side of the force and my this decision will bring me to the light side of it.
@Phil McLoven (C4?) Strange. I am a man from India and Sid is my inspiration. I always found you inclined towards Buddhism. However i will give this advice to you (which i am actually reminding myself): Before following Buddha, kill him. you cannot follow buddhism by following buddhism. you have to go on your own. and trust me, its harder to unfollow him than follow him. it took me years to get rid of him.
There are a couple of different Sid’s. Are you familiar with a writer named Herman Hesse?
I sincerely wish you the best of luck. You only get one present incarnation, make it worthwhile. 🙂
What was that last part about Buddha all about? lol..
peace
@C4 Thanks. I will need luck.