You can vent . If someone one had that much influence theres a reason .i dont know the reason but there definatly is. Could be inside you . Maybe you need to seek help. I did and it does help. Slow process. Take things minute by minute if you have to. There must be someone in your life you can talk to . And if not talk to me or post here . Be careful and try to focus on something you enjoy doing . Go for a bike ride or a walk or go see a movie. But please seek help thats the most important thing. Good luck!