Existentialism

Id like to share from an existential level and some insights that have occurred.  I have explored numerous modalities to tap into that higher awareness our world so readily speaks about.  And yes, I have had amazing experiences… But nevertheless, one always returns to the world of man.

i hear many spiritual teachers say that this planet is a school, a place to learn for souls, and that we create our experience before we entered the womb of our biological human mother.but honestly, what I see, is this logic is pure bullshit, cloaked and lessened with the same idea of man: that one must struggle to exist, that one can overcome.

and yet, this explanation maintains the human approach of hierarchy, continued punishment, and only acceptance through achievement.

My grandmother, a gifted healer and clarvoient, killed herself when I was 8.  My best friend and cousin killed himself when I was 17.   And I attempted to take my life at 20.

no matter the amount of hope, or faith, or reliance on a higher power, it seems to me that all this life for the human is complete bullshit.  All the striving, all the measuring up, whether that be  in the realm of material money and survival or whether that be I. The world of spirituality, after all the yoga and meditation and prayers and mantras and accupunture treatments and iowasca ceremonies…

mall of it is a complete lie.

if all is consciousness, if all are one… It makes no sense to me why anyone would need to struggle and “achieve” anything.