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F.M.L

by Jilliann
written by Jilliann

Last night i tried to commit suicide.. but i just couldn’t take my other leg off the bed, my mom has a rope at the side of the house in an old BBQ thing i tried to reach it out my window but the bars on my window only let me go so far, i couldn’t reach it so i used the strap from my purse, and put the medal part on the hook on my ceiling, my other leg was slowly slidding off and my vision was going black my whole upper body went numb and then that’s when i started thinking about everything then once i stepped back up, i started shaking like crazy and i just broke down.. It took a while for me to untie the strap..  i am still in a bad condition.. I lost myself.. I get hate alot i just don’t know.. Today i thought of overdosing on my medication, i want to leave so bad but something is holding me back.. I’m scared… :'(

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6 comments

aiawanttodie 6/13/2014 - 6:36 am

I came here looking for comfort from a stranger, i feel like lodging a bullet in my head .. I want to know why I’m feeling that way.
why do you want to go ? tell me, it can help me stay

Kirito 6/13/2014 - 7:27 am

If you need somebody to talk to just message me.

contemporary_artist 6/13/2014 - 7:41 am

message me if you need a friend ! theres always something better to stay alive 🙂
contemporaryartist1@gmail.com

ninth_amendment 6/13/2014 - 8:46 am

Ditto what Kirito said. No judgement here, I’m really sorry all your conflicting feelings are tearing you apart.

*hugs

Shephard 6/13/2014 - 8:55 am

A stomach pump or some BBQ’d lamb chops with potato salad…hmm…

I’ll take the BBQ, thanks. 🙂

Reference the comments above: seen? They’re your go-to people, and I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to help you. Good luck, and save a plate for me if you can.

vedura 6/13/2014 - 11:02 am

I am so sorry that you are enduring such pain. Your survival instinct is obviously greater than your wish to die. You hate your life, but perhaps you can change your life and not hate it so much. Do what is best for YOU, not what others expect. Many of us are different, do not fit the mold, and it’s really hard to want to live in a world with no one to relate to.
I send love and understanding and wish I had a magic wand and could do more.

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