I’ve tried to kill myself about .. 7 times. I’ve tried hanging.. Ended up blacking out and waking up to Demond’s and evil thing coming after me. I’ve overdosed 3 times. That ended with throwing up water and sleepless nights with ringing ears and sweaty palms. I was recently in a psychiatric hospital. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and severe depression. They put me on 3 different medications.. But I don’t take them. They make me foggy. I feel like people can read my thoughts and control them. I hear a man talking to me all the time. His name is 6. He leaves mean comments about everything.. For example.. My moms friend died and I truly felt sad and sorry but 6 told me that her friend deserved to die and that they deserve to go to hell.. It scares me.. I want to go back to the hospital! I want more help! I was clean of cutting for about 5 months.. But I can’t stop anymore. My boyfriend threatens to leave me if he sees cuts.  Anyways.. It feels good to get it off my chest. This is my suicide story. This is who I am.
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You are just like me. I want to die. Every second of my life I have wanted to die. I am mutilated by birth defects. None of my escape plans have worked and I have grown more and more desperate. I can’t even be in somebody’s garage without looking around for some kind of chainsaw or tools that might kill me quickly. If I walk by a running wood chipper, I want to throw myself in. I am not long for this world. I have foreseen my demise, it seems that I will die by a suicidal plunge. No possibility for a gentle or humane death for me. I see demons all the time when I dream and that’s where I talk to them. Usually they are crawling around chasing me, trying to capture me for their medical experiments. I try to fly away from them but I cannot. Sometimes they appear in dreams as dolls and I communicate with them in that way. I believe that demons are real and that they communicate with us. It seems like they communicate with the most sensitive ones. I believe that this world is an extremely, extremely evil place, and that the only thing that anybody can hope for is to escape from here. Hopefully whatever we escape to cannot possibly be worse than this.