I’ve wanted to die since I was at most 13, maybe even younger.
It’s been on and off for me, not where I’m really enjoying life and then really not- just from vague contentedness to suicidal.
I’ve tried “hanging in there” but there’s nothing there for me. Everything in this world just feels so empty and pointless. Everything I’ve experienced has just been staving off the inevitable. When everyone else is rejoicing in this idea of a “new age” coming forth and pretending that everything is happy and good in the world, I’m silent in the background, wishing I could speak up to tell them how full of shit they are.
I’m just luggage.
I hate how my body rebels against me, to the point that I can’t just cut my wrists open and end it that way- hopefully ODing will come more easily.
I don’t know what the difference between me and other people is and I guess I never will.
Hopefully this will be the end and I’ll never have to exist in a world like this ever again.
2 comments
I feel completely the same way.
Reading your post made me feel if someone wad trading my mind for a moment… of only sometime could read my entire mind and figure out why i feel this way. Why can’t i fool mutt mind the same as everyone else, in to believing that it can only get better from here? Seriously, i don’t mean to piss on anyone’s parade, but really? How is this world getting any better? How are the things we are doing today going to make tomorrow so gray? Sorry, but i just don’t buy. I hear you loud and clear. I hope that if you do go on, you find peace.