When I was on medication the side effects kept me awake and now that I’ve been drug-free for the past half year it’s pure torment that’s keeping me awake. All day I struggle to focus on anything then I crawl into bed and I ruminate over every single thing that’s happened and experience panic attacks over all the things I can’t change. I wonder why I stick around, I’m a useless piece of shit and should have ended my life a long time ago. I don’t know why I wait for some miracle. I have nothing of value.
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If you’re still here, then think about all the shit you struggled through. If you ended it now, then all that was for nothing. The one thing I’m sure you have of value is YOU. Maybe you’re waiting out of hope. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but hold on, and try to get medication that allows you to sleep. If you want to talk, I’m willing to listen to any thing you have to say.