Hello,
I’m basically doing this out of desperation. Please I don’t want some Gandhi and tell me how exactly to live I just need another, more sane insight on my problem. I have a boyfriend, he is wonderful. He loves me very much, he is everything I could ever want in a guy. But with every story there is a conflict. He lives in a different state, and all we do is text. It’s nice to have someone but I can barely function.. I don’t even know why I’m telling the internet this. I’m just.. out if options I’m tired and.. sorry.
-M
4 comments
Why doesn’t one of you move then?
First off, you are very brave for reaching out. Just know that you are not alone in your predicament. Soul mates are separated time and time again. As long as one of you loves the other, you will be reunited and brought together. Don’t feel desperate. It is only a matter of time and patience.
Are you implying a “Gandhi” insight is not sane or not within enough reason to be of any benefit to you?
Oh well, anyways there are still viable options that can ease your conflict.
Like Duke said, one can either move. But there are different situations to consider. Depending if you really knew one another in the physical form before and at the start of the relationship, and had any physical encounters throughout the course of this relationship, you both can honestly be total strangers to one another despite the massive amounts of virtual interaction. I also think living together is rather a large commitment for long distance couples with little to none physical interaction to “jump” into. Maybe seeking a location convient enough for both of you to maintain your own lives but given the opportunity to really get to know each other and allow the relationship to truly grow, is more within logic before committing to such a large commitment of living together.
You both could also find mutual understanding in retracting your relationship back to being just friends so you both may be given opportunities to pursue other interest or relationships within your own areas but still remain in contact with one another. You both may love each other, but how fair is it to deprive and maintain grasp on someone with no real guarantee that you guys can honestly be together? Yes, you can wait things out and be hopeful of an opportunity to arrive but how long can you last before your relationship deteriotes from unfulfilled physical needs and deprivation?
Its a tough situation, and you also need to be considerate of your own needs and of your own well being as well. A relationship should not render you inapable of functioning and be of a great burden.
I understand you may disagree with much I say and may think I am ignorant to your situation and your right, I am. I have zero knowledge of anything regarding you and your relationship beside what was mentioned in the post, Iam only left to assume and give my insight.
I can only advise that you step back and give much thought to your relationship and its possible outcomes while being realistic as possible with yourself.
I could only wish you the best of luck and only hope the outcome is within your favor.
I guess it all depends if the both of you really love each other. As Koji pointed out the main thing is if you knew each other physically from the start or if you’ve ever met. Distance only relationships are a tough thing since knowing someone through the internet is really different than meeting them in person, few people are really honest about who they really are when they have such a huge “shield” in front of them (in this case, a computer/cellphone screen).
In that sense if you’ve met in person from before at least you know what to expect, but keep in mind, people do change when they are apart even if they message or call each other constantly, and even if they have met in person it’s all bound to change. I was in a long relationship (3+ years) and distance (she moved due to job) changed everything in a mere 4 months. So maybe the best is for the two of you to talk and be honest to each other about what you expect out of the relationship before more time passes by.
Not saying that all long distance relationships end badly but in my experience… yeah, i’ve had a couple and all ended badly (for me).