The one thing I always thought wouldn’t change no matter what is my hometown, I’d always come home to the same house, my same friends, my best friend living right down the street. Now that I’m graduating in less than a month, I realize this isn’t true, and I’m lost. One of the only things I care about in this entire world is Ali, my best friend, of 14 years. And at the end of the summer, when I leave for college in Maryland, she’s moving out to California with her boyfriend. It’s never going to be the same. I always thought I’d come home from college for breaks and vacations and everything would remain just how it is, except we’d get older, get our own places in the general vicinity. Now I’m going to come home and I’m not going to be waking up and going to her house at 10am, fucking shit up until 11pm. California is completely across the country, I could go fly out to see her for a short amount of time each year, but it still wouldn’t be the same. There’s no one else I’m that close with, no one else I literally spend days on end with. I am never going to feel as close to someone as I do with her. There’s never going to be another summer where I call her the second I wake up, no more stupid shit to do together. We’ re not going to spend endless nights together laying by my pool under the stars with giggles and THC pulsing through our veins, contemplating the realms of this fucked up world we’re a part of. I’ve seen this girl almost every single day since I was 4 years old, and now I’m going to see her for a week once a year? I’m not mad she’s leaving, I’m mad at how things are turning out. In fact, I’m really happy she’s getting the fuck out of New Jersey, but I always thought I’d be right there with her.
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So be right there with her when you graduate college. Do the short-term temporary visit thing until then, but work towards that as a goal. Then you can be happy you’re getting the fuck out of NJ, too. 🙂 Things change. You adapt.
@lorax
You don’t get it.
No, I do. I’ve already gone through that transition. Change is a part of life, and feeling uprooted is scary as hell at first. Once you realize the possibilities that it allows, though, things get a lot easier. If you’re as close to this girl as you say, swinging a long-distance friendship and keeping that relationship alive until you can make another transition to living closer to her should be a cakewalk.
No, you don’t get it. Obviously we’re not going to stop being friends. That’s not what I was saying. You don’t get what I’m trying to say.
I don’t even want to move to California.
You’re trying to say you feel uprooted, like everything’s going all helter skelter and nothing’s ever going to be how it was after this transition, no?
Not really, in this post yes because that’s all I could put into words, but it’s not what I’m trying to say.
We all grow old eventually, such is the progression of our biological form. The entire world will continually manifest into something far less familiar than the yesterday we grew up with. Old friends move on with their own paths, holding us only as a subtle thought tucked away for a later date; our own country’s will expand and grow into seemingly complex yet simply idiopathic dynasties; the changing face of society will eventually become indistinguishable from today or tomorrow; and yet, we ourselves remain the same.
It’s a fine, thin line between being “carefree” and knowing “right from wrong”. The only thing we can do is ensure we do not lose who we are in the midst of it all, and never let go of the memories we once shared and are now ours entirely.
growing up I had two best friends–Stephane
and mark. knew them both since I was about 7 years old. if I wasn’t with one of them I was with the other–inseparable. we had always talked about how we were gonna be best friends forever and how no matter how old we got our friendship would never change. in short, shit happens, and
we either roll with the change or resist it. usually the latter leads into the former. point is life never usually unfolds as planned…I feel your pain though. fuck I’m not really saying what I wanted to say but hope shit works out for you with college and everything