there is no coming back from this

So the past few days have been hard anyway……I forgot to take my lithium….the bad thoughts were relentless.  And then I find out that my husband cheated on me with this whore. ….again. and then he told me he wanted a divorce.  Bad thoughts in overdrive.  I took a couple klonopin and lay down but I can’t sleep…….I feel like such a failure. What did I do wrong this time? I have tried so many different meds, hoping one will work.  I have been on the unit, in partial and aftercare…..trying to get better, trying to make it work.  And now, there is no reason to try.