two types of depression

I would posit that the category names are inverted.

Category #1 seems to lead to category #2. Otherwise, people usually never reach category #2, unless they’ve been through category #1.

Without intense trauma, and without realizing the significant life-potential-limiting factors produced by the experiences listed in cat#1, people almost* never receive any stimuli to prompt them to consider the “realism” thoughts listed in cat#2.

However, i do understand, sort of, what you’re getting at.

There are “trivial” and “non-trivial” types of depression. Being upset over undesirable events is a part of life. But not everyone who experiences hardship or trauma, ends up wanting to exit. And, not everyone who realizes “life is meaningless and ultimately irrelevant in comparison with the scope and vastness of the entire universe,” ends up wanting to die as a result.

I am personally completely fine with life being meaningless.

I am not, however, completely fine with extensive meaningless suffering.

If i must suffer:

A) i want it to have a worthy cause
B) i want it to produce a worthy result.

When neither of those things seem like they will ever be true, THAT is when i want to check out. When i feel my suffering is A) for nothing, and B) not going to produce anything good, and C) not going to cease prior to my death… i struggle to find another reason to continue, due to the fact that i’ve realized I DO NOT HAVE TO BE HERE, and can EXIT FOREVER, at any given moment, should i finally conclude that “gone forever” is really what i want.

But there are quite a lot of factors which must line up, for me to actually want that.

I would vastly prefer to eliminate or minimize all the bad shit, and actually get something out of this life, into which i’ve already so heavily invested, and from all that which i’ve already endured, as well as all i expect to be required to continue enduring, throughout the remaining duration of my existence.

TL;DR:

I don’t care that life is meaningless; i care that my suffering is not producing anything i actually want. I’m trying to figure out how to fix that, but shit is complicated, the damage is done, and there really aren’t many avenues of correction, for me, at this point.

However, i think a lot of young people need to SLOW DOWN, count to 10 (or a million), and try to calmly assess their situations, because many of them still have time, and even chances they haven’t yet realized, to do something about it, and “win.” Not everyone actually has those chances, but many do, and many who do, do not realize it, because their judgment is clouded by their circumstances and/from emotional traumas.

I know “YOLO” can be abused and very annoying… but seriously, there’s actually a very valid side of it. YOLO doesn’t mean “do stupid things because whatever.” It means THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE YOU MAY NEVER BE ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. So try not to do stupid shit, because you probably won’t get another chance, and if you ruin yourself too early, you’re going to suffer immensely for your mistake. That sucks, and i’d advise everyone to be a bit more cautious with their actions… but don’t be afraid to do what must be done, when it must be done (not necessarily referencing an exit there…).

🙂