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Journal Entry #3

by marine105

The Sandy Shores of my Shattered Subconscious


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Shephard 7/1/2014 - 5:14 am

Very nice, thanks for sharing that.

I’ve often felt in my many moments of despair that, possibly, fragments of myself have become a part of everything and everyone that I have connected with during my time on this rock, three places away from the Sun. Trying to rebuild myself as whole would be futile to say the least, as there is no way I could ever reclaim every last bit of me, not that I’d want to anyhow. The best any of us could do is continue on at this capacity and add on new parts as we go along, as searching for the old would only prove to ruin us further.

[OLD MAN MIL-TALK INBOUND] We had this thing in the milit’ry where anything issued to us that was defective or otherwise would be placed into what the Logies called the β€œPart Worn – Serviceable” pool – anyone who has had they toosh kicked by Ly-eef u-Ma’ata Farqa will feel damaged or not whole, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still carry on at your respective level of capability and get the job done.

Eek. I’ll stop rambling, but chur bro for posting your writing.

M 7/1/2014 - 6:34 am

Your writing brought back a couple of memories to me, both asociated to someone that used to know me (since if i were to say that i don’t exist for her anymore i’d be 100% right). Both were phrases used by that someone at the beggining/end of our life together. “You are the star that came into my life and lighted up my way” – “toss a vase at the floor and try to put it together and you’ll understand why”. So must likely you can see why your writing brought those back.

I think that in a way everything that burns or shines brightly is destined to fade away sooner or later (regarding your stars fragment). It can be something you love to do, your youth, love, relationships, your whole life, all those things will dull out and die/change irrevocably eventually. Ever noticed rutinary and dull things never appear to change and seem like neverending? i don’t know where i’m going with this observation but it just came to mind.

As for the broken pieces trying to reunite… yeah, the typical example of “feelings are like a piece of glass, if you break it it’s never going to be the same again” comes to mind. But there is a reason for that to happen. If you had the chance to put yourself back together in any way possible, would you go back to the way you used to be before being broken? wouldn’t that mean you are exposing yourself to the same possibility of being broken in the same way again? in a way it makes sense to me to rebuild yourself differently or even use different pieces… but yeah, for what it’s worth i liked your writing and it helped me to think over some things so thank you, and sorry about the extreme rambling πŸ˜€

killswitchon 7/1/2014 - 10:10 am

marine buddy add me on Skype @ patattack5…we can chit chat about various things like your attempts to acquire some ********. I’m just starting that endeavour and would appreciate any tips

marine105 7/1/2014 - 3:01 pm

Killswitchon: email me, that sounds like something Id be interested in: traegjohn@gmail.com

marine105 7/1/2014 - 3:19 pm

Shepard: I agree completely with you; the only thing we can do is build more onto ourselves instead of trying to fix what was lost. But unfortunately I value what I lost far too much, I’d die without It and I’d rather die without it in my life. I know that I can still be serviceable, capable of doing things and technically existing, but that’s just not good enough to me. Maybe my standards for myself are too high, but unfortunately that isn’t something I see changing.
M: And I realize that everything fades, it’s an unfortunate aspect of reality. I just wish I could find new things that shined as brightly and vibrantly as my passion for love and learning. You never have to apologize for rambling, I do it all the time and am more than happy to read through your rambling!
I thank you both for your in depth responses, they gave me some stuff to think about. Keep puttering on!

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