No one can know that im going down, not even my boyfriend. All i can think about lately.is killing myself. But I was on top of this tower and i had the oportunity to tip over the edge into oblivion but I dont know what stopped me. It wasnt the barriers, no, i couldve jumped over. It wasnt the many eyes watching as i leant over the edge and felt nothing but a sort of high, no, They wouldnt of mattered. It wasnt my so called best friend talking to the guy she ditched me for, she wouldnt of noticed. I was just scared. Scares of the thing i wanted so bad. I feel so hopeless there is no escape anywhere not even through death. And i cant say anything to anyone, ever since my first attempt I just feel like everyone is waiting for me to fall again, and I dont want help amymore, pride i suppose. But I am falling. And Im scared of not getting back up.
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I know what u mean, I used to tell everyone about my pain but now it doesn’t feel right, not even my bf too or anyone
A part of you wanted to live. You had the opportunity and you didn’t jump. I know you would have jumped. No matter what you would have. Cuz I did. I lived in California. There’s a place in San Diego called sunset cliffs. It’s really high. I was sixteen. They have it blocked off and it’s illegal now to go there cuz people have fallen off and died. But I took a running leap one night after a party cuz I wanted to die. It was just me and a guy there. It was low tide too. It was at the highest point. Not only did I live but all I did was break my ankle. I guess the saying is true that your body goes limp when you’ve been drinking. I remember the rip tide pulling me under. That alone should’ve killed me. I hit the rocks too. Why the hell I’m here? I have an almost three year old. Maybe it was so she could be here. My point id I did jump. No hesitation and I wasn’t wasted. I was clear headed. I drove from the party the 45minutes to the beach to jump. dig deep. Ask why.
I remember thinking “If I jump someone will have to clean up the mess, what a disconvienience for them.”, and why? (did you drive there for that purpose, that is.)
I had been there before so I knew how high it was so yes. I wanted a witness so someone knew it was suicide and not an accident. I heard him screaming what the f did you do over and over
Regardless of how you go there’s gunna be a body even when it’s natural causes
And I interviewed a crime scene cleanup company exec who said suicide is mesdy even with pills cuz of the decomposition and body fluids
Sorry to be gross
i love you i what to hold your hand but its to far to reach through the bright glass screen over with wires and down the lines over the sea leveing erth behind loveing you not leveing you the girls across the sea the girl across the sea my heart wraped up in paper and cloth the girl i love fly with me<3