Hello, sorry to bother you all but I am in need of advice. I honestly don’t know what to do do anymore. I am personally just tired of everything. I do not wish to go on living. I have actually felt this way for multiple years now. I even made a post on here a few years ago. People tried comforting me and saying it would all get better soon. A few years later and I’m still contemplating the same decision.
I’ve been struggling to find a stable job with a reliable source of income. I do not usually feel any emotion. I don’t want to have a family or a wife. I was born with severe asthma and allergies which makes me unable to do a multitude of activities. I even tried volunteering but was turned down. When I’m awake, all I see is pain, hate and misery.
Anyways, the obvious answer has always been to commit suicide. There have always been some issues with that solution that I cannot solve. The big one is my family and friends. I feel my friends would be able to get over it eventually but I’m worried about my family. I don’t think they would be able to get over it easily. I’m afraid they would all blame my death on themselves, which I don’t want. The other problem I faced is that I do not want someone to find me and clean up after me. All of the common suicide methods leave a body and a mess for someone to find.
So here I sit, unable to figure out what I should do. I’m tired of living, there isn’t much here for myself. I don’t want to be greedy on the other hand and force others to suffer just so I don’t have to. If anyone has any input I would appreciate it. Thanks.