So, I’m sitting here wondering about life, and one of the things I’ve noticed is that the Internet has been the only constant in it for a very large chunk of time now. The Internet is there for me when I’m sad, happy, mad, bored, fill in the blank. Nothing else in this world brings me the amount of joy the internet brings me. Not people, not drugs, not alcohol, not sex, nothing at all can compare to the wonders of the internet.
I recently found out that my internet has a cap. Because I reached it. With that, my internet provider makes you pay a fee to be supplied with more of the wonderful, high speed, broadband internet. This was a shock to my system because it made me realize that money dictates my emotional state. Without money to pay for more, I’d be a wreck. I’m so reliant on it, I’m so thankful for it and I dare to say I can’t live without it.
Knowing that the internet can potentially be taken away from me is terrifying. The other day I tried to go the whole day without it and I couldn’t seem to occupy myself. Television does nothing for me anymore; save a few cartoons and over-dramatic reality shows. Reading a book works for a while then the book ends and you have go BUY another. Plus, a book could never compare to the endless bank of information the internet stands strong as. And honestly I couldn’t try much else. The lack of purpose I felt without it
was overwhelming and I immediately
withdrew into the fantasy world of my
computer.
I just don’t know how I will fill the void when it’s gone or limited. People bring nothing but drama and ego into my life. Sometimes even destruction and just plain nastiness. I have no one to spend time with because of my hesitation to interact with anyone at all. Heck, it’s been so long since I’ve hung out with someone I could call a friend that I don’t know whether I am human anymore.
The internet means more to me than anything. It’s like, for me, it substitutes human relationships and interaction. If I’m sad I can watch a vlog and watch someone else live the life I want. If I’m happy I can play an online video game and use that emotion to generate victories in the fantasy world. Without the internet there’s nothing to keep me going.
Thanks for reading.
3 comments
I do understand your feeling I used to have internet addiction and I do still have , but now I’m using it to help me to reach my goal and my dreams
I have dream to start my own business someday and my bff Mr Internet is helping me to make the right decision
another thing I’m working on my first novel and I feel like my novel and novel characters start to be my new best friends
try it try to write a novel or book internet will help you to become the best of the best
I think I would like to read a novel about person who have internet addiction and has the same life you living and how he or she find his _ her way to the real world
*If you need best friend on your fantasy world let me know 🙂 and I mean it ..best friend not just someone to talk to ..sometimes
Its quite saddening in a sense that we feel we need to resort to the internet for our virtual life, instead of tackling our problems in the real life. I’ve always felt the internet is one of the reasons depression remains because we hide here and ignore the problems ahead while they rapidly grow
Not criticising just pondering aloud, the internet is my life. I couldn’t live a day without it. Probably why the symptoms of depression include internet addiction…but to be honest most people who live in a western society are also addicted…maybe however not as much and to more social networking sites where they know the people in real life.
I really enjoyed reading that. It made me realize that im the same way. The internet has me so occupied with all of its information that it substitutes the feelings of being lonely or scared for a little while. But it also made me realize that the internet is also probably one of the causes of me being so isolated.