I feel insane, like i’ll never be happy. Even though i strive so hard to be happy. Yet i feel as if there is fire in my skin, and i am drowning within’. I can’t trust nor really open up to people.. i can feel them judging.. no one understands the concept of depression around here.. they just think you are ‘sick’ .. that’s all you’ll hear “She’s sick, look at her wrist” “She needs to be put away” .. But they don’t get the constant darkness taking over your mind.. Out of all honesty if i were to do it.. I’d make it look like an accident to save the pain from my family.. Lately everything has been brought up out of this ‘hole’ concept, but I’ve fallen back into the hole, unhappy as can be. As yet i haven’t picked up a blade, bottle, or pill has surprised me. 12 Tylenol doesn’t do much to a person, sadly. I feel messed up in the head, sick & twisted that all i think about is death. How to get away and run from my problems. I seem to make everything seem as a joke to make it seem as if i am happy. Although i fail at everything in life. As a daughter, as a student, as a friend, as a girlfriend.. I can’t make anyone happy. That’s pretty clear considering the fact i fail at making myself happy. It’s rather petty how hateful i’ve become. Ha, have a good one.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
11 comments
Ironic it seems as tonight I was going through the stories and poems I wrote 20 long year’s ago. My life back then almost mirrored yours today. I wrote my pain onto pages and found there was one person I could turn to out dozens, who guided me through an early life ending decision.
Ironic I wanted my life’s premature conclusion to look like an accident but wrote a note in an attempt to alleviate the pain which was sure to be left behind.
It took time and lessons learnt but things fall into place. Fate can deal you a shit hand. But it does and will get better. Hang in there, you only need that one person.
Ironic it seems as tonight I was going through the stories and poems I wrote 20 long year’s ago. My life back then almost mirrored yours today. I wrote my pain onto pages and found there was one person I could turn to out dozens, who guided me through an early life ending decision.
Ironic I wanted my life’s premature conclusion to look like an accident but wrote a note in an attempt to alleviate the pain which was sure to be left behind.
It took time and lessons learnt but things fall into place. Fate can deal you a bad hand. But it does and will get better. Hang in there, you only need that one person.
“no one understands the concept of depression around here.. they just think you are ‘sick’ .. that’s all you’ll hear “She’s sick, look at her wrist” “She needs to be put away” .. But they don’t get the constant darkness taking over your mind..”
Ah, baseball-dad empathy at its finest. I dislike some humans so much. “Let’s quarantine her until her pain runs its course. That’ll fix it.”
“It’s rather petty how hateful i’ve become.”
Hi, welcome to Club Jaded. Sorry, we no longer have a happy hour, it just wasn’t that successful. The dance floor and jukebox are out of order as well.
Scary how much you sound like the thoughts that constintly ruminate in my head all day
We should talk more i bet it would help!
Sounds like a plan!
Just need to find that one person to speak to. Putting your thoughts onto paper in poems or stories can help alleviate the pain.
What’s your real name Kailee3?
Why?
just interested
Ye was a poor attempt there i gta say but i always feel like i want to die but after so many attempts its hard to judge.Why do i keep living on whats the reason surely i should b dead by now , i want to my minds so fuked up im so alone no1 with me.Yet somehow i manage to giggle at the stupidest things , if i can break a smile occasionaly im sure u can find something to grin about.