“Why do you want to die?” They asked before I was forced into therapy. “Was it the deaths in your family? How bout your parents devorce? Or was it being taken away from your parents christmas eve at 7 years old?” Well no. I had finally pushed that back in my mind until it was brought up. Now that was almost 3 year ago and maybe then thats why i wanted to die but now idk why. Maybe the social anxiey and depression ive developed. The worthlesness and pain i feel deep inside because thats all i can cause others. pain. so as i make another mistake and another slice in my arm just to escape the pain. I contemplate why i should take my life and the reasons to out number the reasons not too.
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A reason not to: I find your tone of voice and choice of words are beautiful, and I believe that once you want to, you can uplift others and spread joy and bliss and beauty. Imagine, even in this state of utmost despair and darkness, you have shone a light – all the way to little me – by the gentleness of your innermost intentions, to be an uplifter, a sharer, a giver, a carer, a lover. The rest is growing pains, I’m sure of it. And you can out grow those thoughts and emotions. I wish you freedom, light, fruitful days and peaceful nights <3
Thank you so much. That means alot. I love to help people as much as i can but its hard when im always brought down. Ive had to grow up way too fast and it keeps getting faster. When ur still technically a kid and by the time you were 13 you have to act 28 its not easy.
Social anxiety is one of the major things I’m dealing with. And for some reason depression always follows behind it.