All my life ive been there for others helping to keep them positive and moving onwards and upwards.
Ive come to a point where i cant even do this for myself. My relationship came to an end on my birthday a few days back and it was my own fault as much as im hurting n dispairing of my actions im breaking apart more and more each day knowing how much ive hurt him n thats the worst part. He wants nothing more to do with me and wants me to NEVER contact him again. I see no way out of the hole i have gotten myself into n the help of others isnt making the difference id hoped.
As of yesterday ive started to dehydrate gradually the lack of food isnt a problem as i cant keep anything down anyway. I thought the decision would be difficult but i seem to be more at peace knowing i wont be hurting myself or anyone else any more.
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i think you need and deserve a vacation. You helped people, so you know that we all from time to time need a helping hand, a shoulder to cry and a friend to realize that everything has a solution. So many of us live feeling guilty, thinking we don’t deserve better. Try this game, think that all your problems are mine, how would you help me? I have some health issues and they’re getting worse.. this is my reason. But let’s change it, ok?
I dont deserve anything ive really destroyed the one person who really was my everything and of all people he deserved it the least what person does that to another. I took him for granted then acted so out of character ive broken myself aswell as him. I love my family and friends but they have all got so much more to keep smiling about. Its been 48 hours since i last ate and all ive consumed is ice cubes between bowts of sickness im done with this life now.
I’m sorry about the circumstances you find yourself in but please don’t starve yourself, its not the answer, it takes a long time and isn’t a nice way to go. I have no answers other than just keep talking about your feelings; I, myself, feel so alone and unwanted and find talking helps, it just about keeps me going.
All i ever do is talk but its got to a point i have nothing else to say. Its amaizing the caring and compassion people are showin despite my own stupid actions. But ive come to far to climb bk out n i know hes the only person capable of bringing me out but ive pushed him to far for him to care anymore.
That’s a desperate feeling…that the one person who could save you doesn’t care to. I know it doesn’t help much, but you’re not the only one in that place right now. I hope you find some peace.
Talking and talking can feel like going around in circles, I Emailed a help group and it felt good to receive a reply but depression soon followed again but at least I knew someone had cared enough to respond and I care about you and don’t want you to suffer. I hope you use the internet to find more about about starving to death and consider another method but more than that I hope you do continue to talk, does this man you talk about really know how bad you’re feeling now.
He wants nothing more to do with me i tried to tell him but hes too hurt to notice where i was going with it l.
There’s little I can say to help you, nothing you haven’t already heard but I want you to know that I am thinking of you, I’m sad about the amount of blame you place upon yourself and how it’s tearing you apart. I wish I could give you the desire to somehow go on with your life, even for the short term, time to think, I hope you do find some peace in your life through finding some way to look ahead positively rather than suicide even though it may be hard to see a future, please try.